interloper's blog

Strange and beautiful
You appeared, beautiful
Stranger.
I think
I know you,
But what do I know?
Text me
Mixed messages. Test me.
I want you
To want me
To please you. You tease me,
Appease me, confuse me,
Excite me, unease me.
It's easy.
I don't think
I know you,
But what do I know?
Strange and beautiful. You appeared
Beautiful. 

❍

Silent within, dead still about.
Prone and alone,
Awake and without.
The pump pulls water from the ground, a sound,
Three thirty resolutely rolls around.
A fear, unclear; my souvenir,
Springtide strong-arm seclusion, unbound.

Give in.
Go ahead, 
Slice my soma.
Violate my 
Parotid stroma.
Just please don't let me 
Wake up in a coma.
Pleomorphic Adenoma.

Blinding, trying to read 
Between lines, it's just space unconsigned.
Minding, dying to need.

Where is the end and beginning
Between the eye and the mind?
Reading words you can't find.

Thinking, ready to bleed.
Full mind, empty space unenshrined,
Proceed, it can only be freed.

Where's the beginning and ending
Of what has been lost and defined?
Freeing, planting a seed?

Minding, dying to need.

∞
In the swirling midst of your twisting confusion,
Emerging discrepancies kill the delusion,
Swiftly inducing that first cold conclusion.

You wanted, you hoped, you were achingly wrong.  

So shake off the shock of the fables and fiction,
Arrive then again at this next bleak conviction
Concerning your mental distress and affliction.

Deceit stings but truth brings the hurt that's so strong.

Rearrange your illusions, adjust your mythology, 
Examine the evidence, dissect the chronology,
Ultimately owing yourself an apology. 

It was hope that had caused all your pain, all along.

Hope after all...all your pain...all along.

Sat down by the cookstove
in a dirt-old house
on a bump on the lip
of a moraine.
Wind, winter, ocean cloistered sandbar.
Shut inside by cold fat sticky rain.

Pondering the knot upon 
               my jawbone.
Sorting stuff I think 
I own. 
Mapping out a fortnight on a train.

A loan, alone, a rolling stone.
Resolve, evolve, remove, escape........remain.
                   Plenilunar overdriven brain.

Final Version:

My armor weighs more than I can still carry,

A cage for my skull,

Five years empty inside. 

Circean shapeshifters sold me this

Sheathing. 

In shadows they flitter, in daylight they hide.

Remember: 

Effortless solstice of winter,

Sleeping, 

Turning, legs and arms twined.

Human cocoon

Of breath, skin, Elysium,

Flawless empyrean, fullness of mind.

Now

Skating the precipice, dragging my baggage,

Punch hard,

Pierce through this carapace shell. 

With unguarded organs 

I squint through the scissure,

Unable to tell if it's heaven

Or hell.

Exoskeletal shedding takes trust,

Though I can't seem to know when it's false or it's real,

But If i touch heat then

I'll maybe be able to

Cry

and then actually, finally

Feel.

Last time we talked,
Your two year old twins,
Your cramped condominium,
Your nonprofit job insecurity,
You found a guy with my name,
My face, my job, your husband, he was away,
Far away, away in the desert at burning man.
You cried and you used the L word twice.
You missed me still and I felt the same.
Fifteen years and I still felt the same,
And you were still the same and
If I had said the word, Come,
You would have, I know,
But I wouldn't
And I didn't.
I didn't.

I caught myself
Wanting, what a stupid thing to do, wanting
Something almost perfect but not
Exactly right or even
Possible to begin with
Anyway.

Hedge fund managers and CEOs,
Captains of Industry, Masters of the Universe
Walk their little dogs down my street
Clutching
little bags 
of dog shit.