Bipolar Disorder and the Creative Genius
Submitted by SerendipUpdate on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 4:21pm.
Biology 202
1998 Third Web Reports
On Serendip
Bipolar Disorder and the Creative Genius
HimaBindu K Krishna
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is a psychopathology that affects approximately 1% of the population. (1) Unlike unipolar disorder, also known as major affective disorder or depression, bipolar disorder is characterized by vacillating between periods of elation (either mania or hypomania) and depression. (1, 2) Bipolar disorder is also not an illness that remedies itself over time; people affected with manic depression are manic-depressives for their entire lives. (2, 3) For this reason, researchers have been struggling to, first, more quickly diagnose the onset of bipolar disorder in a patient and, second, to more effectively treat it. (4) As more and more studies have been performed on this disease, the peculiar occurrence between extreme creativity and manic depression have been uncovered, leaving scientists to deal with yet another puzzling aspect of the psychopathology. (5)
Patients with bipolar disorder swing between major depressive, mixed, hypomanic, and manic episodes. (1-9) A major depressive episode is when the patient has either a depressed mood or a loss of interest/pleasure in normal activities for a minimum of two weeks. Specifically, the patient should have (mostly): depressed mood for most of the day, nearly every day; diminished interest or pleasure in activities; weight loss or gain (a difference of 5% either way in the period of a month); insomnia or hypersomnia; psychomotor agitation or retardation; fatigue or loss of energy; diminished ability to think or concentrate; feelings of worthlessness; recurrent thoughts of death or suicidal ideation or attempt. It is important to note that, except for the last symptom, all of these symptoms must be present nearly every day. (2, 7) In addition to major depressive episodes, patients with manic depression also feel periods of hypomania. A hypomanic episode must be a period of at least four days, during which the affected person feels elevated or irritated--a marked difference from the depressed period. (2, 7) The symptoms are: inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, more talkative than usual, flight of ideas or racing thoughts, distractibility, psychomotor agitation or an increase in goal-directed activity, excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that may have negative consequences. (2, 7) This change in mood is observable by others and medications, substance abuse, or another medical condition does not cause the symptoms. (7)
In contrast to hypomania is mania, which is a more extreme case of hypomania. A manic episode is a period of an elevated or irritable mood for at least one week. (2, 7) The symptoms must cause problems in daily functioning and cannot be caused by a medical condition or drugs. (7) Manic symptoms are: inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, more talkative than usual, flight of ideas or racing thoughts, attention easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant items, increase in goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation, and excessive involvement in pleasurable activities which may have negative consequences. (2, 7) Lastly, bipolar disorder patients may also go through mixed episodes, which are periods when the patient meets the criteria for both a manic episode and a major depressive episode every day for at least one week. (2,7)
Due to the different mood phases, which the patient may experience, the DSM-IV (diagnostic manual of American Psychologists) has categorized two different types of bipolar disorder, I and II.
Bipolar I is characterized as any one of the following variations:
1. The patient having a manic episode without precedence of a depressive episode
2. Most recently in a hypomanic episode with at least one previous manic or mixed episode
3. Most recently in a manic episode with at least one previous major depressive episode, manic episode, or mixed episode
4. Most recently a mixed episode with at least one previous major depressive episode, manic episode, or mixed episode. (7)
Subsequently, Bipolar II is characterized as the presence or history of one or more major depressive episodes and at least one hypomanic episode, without a precedence of a manic or mixed episode. (7, 1) One of the problems with diagnosing bipolar disorder is that the symptoms may not be incredibly noticeable until the disease has progressed to a dangerous point. (4) The disorder is such that a manic phase may only last a few hours at a time. (4) That is, the episode can proceed as a few hours of mania every day for at least one week. The affected person may not mind the mania or may be in denial of the disease, and since it only lasts a few hours, no one else may even notice. (4) By the time people actually begin to notice the manic-depressive cycle (or just the mania) it has already reached a point where the patient is barely able to function normally. (4) In addition, many clinicians have difficulty first differentiating between bipolar I and bipolar II. Since the types of patients, lengths of episodes, and age of onset are very similar, the only diagnostic tool is the difference between mania and hypomania. Since the symptoms are basically the same, except for the understanding that mania is one step more severe than hypomania, many clinicians fluctuate between the two subsets before diagnosing the patient. (4) Studies are still being conducted to more accurately and quickly distinguish bipolar I patients from bipolar II patients.
Researchers are still questioning the cause of manic depression. The most popular theory is that the disorder is caused by an imbalance of norepinephrine and serotonin. (1) During manic periods there are unusually high levels of norepinephrine and serotonin while, during depressed periods, there are unusually low levels. (1) The biological explanation is also supported by strong genetic inheritance. Many twin studies have been performed which have shown a predominance of bipolar disorder among monozygotic (identical) and dizygotic (fraternal) twins, with a greater chance of inheritance in monozygotic twins. Other studies have shown that bipolar patients often have a family history of both bipolar and unipolar disorder. (2) In addition to these studies, the fact that the most common method of treatment for bipolar disorder is medication testifies to the validity of the biological theory of causation.
Treatment for manic depression consists of mood stabilizers, medications that balance the manic and depressive states experienced by patients with bipolar disorder. (6) The most common treatment, or the first medication attempted, is Lithium. Lithium increases the serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake, this causes its counterbalancing effects of mania and depression. (6, 8) Research shows that Lithium alters NA transport and may interfere with ion exchange and nerve conduction. (8) Another effect of Lithium is its ability to inhibit second-messenger systems. These systems regulate cell cycling and circadian rhythms. Cell cycling and circadian rhythms, in turn, dictate the frequency and duration of the manic-depressive moods. (6, 9) However, many patients do not respond to Lithium. Some say that this is due to the drug, while others maintain that it is due to lack of consistency in taking the drug. (6) It has been shown that Lithium in not effective for all types of bipolar disorder, so other medications have been produced to help Lithium resistant individuals. (6, 8)
Anticonvulsants are the second attempted medications to alleviate the symptoms of bipolar disorder. Valproate (VPA) and Carbamazepine (CBZ) are the two most commonly prescribed. VPA has the same efficacy as Lithium for decreasing mania as well as acting faster, which is important to some patients. (6) However, the exact mechanism of action is still unclear. Research indicates that VPA may be involved with gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). VPA may either enhance GABA receptor activity and/or inhibit its metabolism. (6) CBZ has similar effects as VPA. That is, CBZ is also an anticonvulsant that alleviates the symptoms of mania, and possibly depression. Unlike VPA, more is known on the mechanism of CBZ. CBZ has been associated with neurotransmitter and ion-channel systems. (6) It binds to voltage-sensitive sodium channels, decreasing the sodium influx. It promotes potassium conductance and may block dopamine receptor-mediated currents. (6) Medication seems to be the best treatment to date for bipolar disorder. Psychotherapy is also helpful, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy, which focuses on readjusting patient's perceptions of life. (2, 3) However, patients still experience symptoms to one degree or another.
Though this psychopathology is not for one to wish, one interesting association with bipolar disorder is the creativity of those afflicted. (2, 3, 5, 7) This is not the normal creativity experienced by the above-average people (on the scale of creativity). This creativity is the creative genius, which is so rare, yet an inordinate percentage of the well-known creative people were/are afflicted with manic depression. (2, 3) Among the lengthy list are: (writers) F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Sylvia Plath; (poets) William Blake, Sara Teasdale, Walt Whitman, Ralph Waldo Emerson; (composers) Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky. (10) Psychiatrists, realizing a connection greater than coincidence, have performed studies all over the world in an attempt to establish a link between bipolar disorder and creativity. (5) In the 1970s, Nancy C. Andreasen of the University of Iowa examined 30 creative writers and found 80% had experienced at least one episode of major depression, hypomania, or mania. (5) A few years later Kay Redfield Jamison studied 47 British writers, painters, and sculptors from the Royal Academy. She found that 38% had been treated for bipolar disorder. In particular, half of the poets (the largest group with manic depression) had needed medication or hospitalization. (5) Researchers at Harvard University set up a study to assess the degree of original thinking to perform creative tasks. They were going to rate creativity in a sample of manic-depressive patients. Their results showed that manic-depressives have a greater percentage of creativity than the controls. (5) There have been biographical studies of earlier generations of artists and writers which show that they have 18 times the rate of suicide (as compared to the general population), 8-10 times the rate of unipolar depression, and 10-20 times the rate of bipolar depression. (5) The additive results of these studies provide ample evidence that there is a link between bipolar disorder and creative genius. The question now is not whether or not there exists a connection between the two, but why it exists.
One common feature in mania or hypomania is the increase in unusually creative thinking and productivity. (2, 3, 5, 7) The manic factor contributes to an increased frequency and fluency of thoughts due to the cognitive difference between normalcy and mania. (2, 5) Manic people often speak and think in rhyme or alliteration more than non-manic people. (2, 5) In addition, the lifestyles of manic-depressives in their manic phase is comparable to those of creative people. Both groups function on very little sleep, restless attitudes, and they both exhibit depth and emotion beyond the norm. (2, 5) Biologically speaking, the manic state is physically alert. That is, it can respond quickly and intellectually with a range of changes (i.e. emotional, perceptual, behavioral). (5) The manic perception of life is one without bounds. This allows for creativity because the person feels capable of anything. It is as if the walls, which inhibit the general population, do not exist in manic people, allowing them to become creative geniuses. They understand a part of art, music, and literature which normal people do not attempt. The manic state is in sharp contrast to the depressive phase of bipolar patients. In their depressed phase, patients only see gloom and boundaries. They feel helpless, and out of this helplessness comes the creativity. (5) The only way bipolar patients can survive their depressed phases, oftentimes, is to unleash their despondency through some creative work. (5, 3)
Since the states of mania and depression are so different, the adjustment between the two ends up being chaotic. Looking at some works of literature or music, it can be noticed which phase the creator was in at the time of composition. In works by Sylvia Plath, for example, the readers may take notice of the sharp contrast among chapters. Some chapters she is full of hope and life, while other chapters read loneliness and desolation. Another example can be found in Tchaikovsky's music; there is a great variation among his compositions concerning their tone, tempo, rhythm, etc. In fact, some say that most actual compositions result from this in-between period because this is the only time when the patient can physically deliver something worthwhile. (3) Because the phases are so chaotic, the ideas float during the manic and depressive states, but the final, developed products are formed during the patients' "normal" phases.
However, the problem with bipolar disorder in present time is that drug treatment often vanquishes the creativity in the patient. (5) In earlier days when drug therapy was not implemented, the creativity would be free. Yet, through the attempt for affected people to cope with day to day living, their creativity must be sacrificed. It is remarkable how these "afflicted" persons exude extraordinary creativity. Therapists and researchers are on the constant search to provide treatment for the debilitating symptoms. In the case of bipolar disorder, the world benefits from the mood swings endured by a large percentage of these patients. Though their ability to function properly is of utmost concern, since the cycling between manic and depressive phases is so traumatic and energy depleting, the unusual existence of creativity of such caliber in these people is something to conserve. As more effective drug treatment is being sought after, hopefully there will be medication that will permit the creative genius of the patients and allow them to function in society as well.
Bibliography
1. http://www.healthguide.com/Bipolar/BASICS.htm
2. Rescorla, Leslie. Psychology 209, Abnormal Psychology. Bryn Mawr College, Apr 1998.
3. http://www.Scruznet.com/`Crawford/Madness/
4. http://www.medscape.com/Medscape/M5/mh3183.bowden/mh3183.bowden.html
5. http://www.schizophrenia.com/ami/Cnsmer/creative.html
6. http://www.medscape.com/Medscape/M7/mh3206.bowden/mh3206.bowden.html
7. http://www.cmhc.com/disorders/sx20.htm
8. http://www.usask.ca/psychiatry/bipolar2.html
9. http://www.mhsource.com/edu/psytimes/p960533.html
10. http://www.pendulum.org/misc/famous.htm
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12/21/2005, from a Reader on the Web Just glanced at your bipolar/creativity article. I'm afraid that mis-conceptions like symptom remision interfering with creativity is cited as reasons for people with bipolar disorder to discontinue any form of treatment. Although I don't have the references with me, a survey of the literature now (look for Richard's work with the Lifetime Creativity Scales) would suggest that it isn't people with full-blown mental illness that are creative (as behaviours such as apathy and psycho-motor retardation or grandiosity and poor impulse control would impede production of creative works), it is actually those with sub-syndromal mental illness (a partial expression of a genetic pheontype perhaps identifiable in family members or muted psychiatric symptoms) that are more creative. That research lab has also found that creativity actually goes down in people with full blown mental illness. I think this speaks to the importance of managing one's symptoms so that one can use the gifts that this style of thinking can afford. While this discussion needs greater space than comments can afford, I would caution people from making medical decisions based off of the few emminent people that do come to our attention with mental illness, rather than research conducted on everyday people. I would also make the caution that if a person with bipolar disorder does feel they are finally comming around and they suddenly have a tonne of creative ideas, please pace yourself and take steps to limit what could be another manic episode. Other creativity research will tell you that creative endeavour for MOST people is much like a marathon....if you sprint for the first half the race, you'll hit the wall in the second half. However, if you pace yourself (perhaps by keeping a book of creative ideas that can be explored later), you are much more likely to have a better overall performance and finish the race. David Armstrong
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Additional comments made prior to 2007
I suffer with Bipolar Disorder and at times it can be
a debilitating illness. However, even though I must take
medication for the rest of my life, I find that I can still be creative
in producing pencil portraits and I have written two books which have
been published ... Barbara O'Sullivan, 11 March 2006
This paper was extremely well done. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar
Disorder now for 6 years or so. I'm 44 years of age. I agree less with
the first contributing thought comment than I do with HimaBindu's
thoughts regarding creativity. From personal experience, I was most
creative during my one and only week long lasting full blown manic
episode. Although it is true that I was not organized about my
creativity, if the person who is experiencing full blown mania has a
channel for their creativity - if they get on a word processor and
start writing, or if they are an artist, if they get out a canvass and
start painting, or if a musician if they get out music sheets ? and
start composing, while seated at a piano I suppose, they'd be able to
produce something that is higher up the scale of creativity, in my
opinion, than someone who is experiencing hypo mania (slight mania) or
a normal mood or a mixed mood or depression. When you are fully manic,
you feel as if you have entered the gates of "heaven on earth." That
you have reached an enlightened state. You feel as if you are a
prophet. As you have no way to compare what you are experiencing to any
past experiences. (Assuming it is your first manic episode.) I did not
realize I had had a mental "breakdown" until the mania crashed into a
heavy depression, and I knew at that point that when my wife wanted me
to go to a psychiatrist, she was right. While I was manic, I told her I
just thought I had become enlightened or something. While you are in
the fully manic state, you (or at least I did) have an obsession to be
creative. If I were outside the home doing something else, I'd think in
my mind while driving home, what I was going to write next, and be so
obsessed with adding it to my writing that I would run full speed up
the stairway to get to the computer quickly enough. While I was
writing, which was a sort of whimsical play script, writing with an
elizabethan english accent (even though I'm American,) a complete
symphony was playing in my mind, a new one not a existing one, to go
with the play script, even though I don't have much training in music
(played some trumpet in high school.)
The trouble was, whatever I was writing, I believed afterwards anyways, was a sort of prophesy - such that when you are writing, you don\'t know what the prophecy is at the time - you are not sure what the thoughts mean or where they came from. So it is just a very intense experience. I was able to hike with more strength as well I remember, it isn't just your brain that is operating at a very high "RPM."
So I agree with HimaBindu that an organized creative bipolar type would harness the creativity while they were fully manic, and save it, then fine tune it later after getting through the months of nasty depression which is the price of full blown mania (what goes up must come down.)
I also agree somewhat to Armstrong's comment, that ideas might be more useable, down to earth, less prophetic in nature, and less grandiose (if you listen to a lot of the classical music from famous composers - you could almost define the great ones as grandiose.) An exception might be art, music, and certain writings. So that really depends on what is being created. Creating a concept for an advertisement would probably be better done while hypomanic than manic, as this is a not so grandiose creation. While classical music might require a grandiose mood to come up with a great composition in the first place.
It is interesting to note, that I can turn on the creativity anytime I want, just by shorting myself with sleep. I don't know why this is the case. All people I think get a little "silly" and creative when they lack sleep don't they? This is more pronounced when you have bipolar. It seems as if the logical part of your mind gets exhausted and is not used much, while the creative side becomes dominant and does not get exhausted, rather it seems to get energized.
One possibility would be to look at bipolar and mania, rather than as a genetic flaw, it may be it is the opposite end of the envelope - that bipolars are pushing the envelope of creativity as an evolutionary stretch - that perhaps the human species mind is evolving to become more creative. That one day you could be fully manic your entire life, without crashing into depression, and live a richer life as a result. The "Kingdom of God" that Jesus spoke of (who some people think was bipolar by the way) could actually be a mental heaven that our species is progressing towards. Towards enlightenment I guess you could say. I realize I am getting a bit grandiose with this evolutionary possibility, but anything is possible, so I wouldn't write it entirely off as out of touch with reality. Some authors seem to also think there is a link between mania and spirituality, and I think that is along the same lines of what I just mentioned ... Jim, 16 June 2006
The trouble was, whatever I was writing, I believed afterwards anyways, was a sort of prophesy - such that when you are writing, you don\'t know what the prophecy is at the time - you are not sure what the thoughts mean or where they came from. So it is just a very intense experience. I was able to hike with more strength as well I remember, it isn't just your brain that is operating at a very high "RPM."
So I agree with HimaBindu that an organized creative bipolar type would harness the creativity while they were fully manic, and save it, then fine tune it later after getting through the months of nasty depression which is the price of full blown mania (what goes up must come down.)
I also agree somewhat to Armstrong's comment, that ideas might be more useable, down to earth, less prophetic in nature, and less grandiose (if you listen to a lot of the classical music from famous composers - you could almost define the great ones as grandiose.) An exception might be art, music, and certain writings. So that really depends on what is being created. Creating a concept for an advertisement would probably be better done while hypomanic than manic, as this is a not so grandiose creation. While classical music might require a grandiose mood to come up with a great composition in the first place.
It is interesting to note, that I can turn on the creativity anytime I want, just by shorting myself with sleep. I don't know why this is the case. All people I think get a little "silly" and creative when they lack sleep don't they? This is more pronounced when you have bipolar. It seems as if the logical part of your mind gets exhausted and is not used much, while the creative side becomes dominant and does not get exhausted, rather it seems to get energized.
One possibility would be to look at bipolar and mania, rather than as a genetic flaw, it may be it is the opposite end of the envelope - that bipolars are pushing the envelope of creativity as an evolutionary stretch - that perhaps the human species mind is evolving to become more creative. That one day you could be fully manic your entire life, without crashing into depression, and live a richer life as a result. The "Kingdom of God" that Jesus spoke of (who some people think was bipolar by the way) could actually be a mental heaven that our species is progressing towards. Towards enlightenment I guess you could say. I realize I am getting a bit grandiose with this evolutionary possibility, but anything is possible, so I wouldn't write it entirely off as out of touch with reality. Some authors seem to also think there is a link between mania and spirituality, and I think that is along the same lines of what I just mentioned ... Jim, 16 June 2006
From my knowledge of manic-depression, and as a type I manic-depressive myself, I agree with Armstrong ... Douglas Lucas, 19 July 2006
I finally found a clue that might help me and others about the Bipolar Disorder Creative Genius. I have severe chronic back pain and have to take strong pain killers and muscle relaxants. I have been detoxed twice in a hospital ward for drug addiction. I made the decision to enter on my own. I hate taking the meds and the way they make me feel but each time I have had to go back and get the meds for pain. That's my history but the first time I detoxed and the place that I was in there was some really weird things going on and others thought so too. Anyway they were jacking with my thyroid. The Doctor said my test showed borderline and then he said "I'm going to give you some thyroid medicine;sometimes you can jumpstart a thyroid.Each time the Nurse would bring my meds I would look at them and ask her what they were even though I had it all memorized. I knew them by their shape and color. So rather wait till after a group therapy session to give me some meds she just comes over where I am sitting and tells me here is another med for you. It was like nothing I had ever seen before but she tells me it was thyroid medicine. I was so wired I felt like I was going for the moon. Iwas a total nervous wreck but I had to fight the horrible nervousness constantly. And for some reason (how about in the name of science!)they started giving us intelligence tests. The therapist giving the test said it was a test that they gave Marines and that seldom does anyone score 1 and extremely rare for anyone to score 2. Another part of the test was to score your answers by how close they came to being right or something like that. Anyway I was already sailing in outer space a bit,soI sailed right through this test never thinking twice about my choices because we were being timed also. All I know is I am no genius and my scores were off the charts you might say. I had the two answers that were rarely answered correctly and I scored 37 points. In comparison to everyone else in the room and their being on the low end, No one even got 1 on the first part of the tests and the scores on the other part were like 12 to 17. What was going on in my brain I haven't a clue. Everyone that was in this ward of only 16 people felt like we were being used like lab rats. It is a very long and complicated story that I won't get into any further ... Linda Rivers, 22 May 2007
okay im about to be 15 but
okay im about to be 15 but have been diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder. its genetic apparently. i've been on drugs, attempted suicide, been in a MI for treatement, i'm in stress, depression and anger management. i'm in DSS but i really dont wanna get any more meds but i think i'm gonna kill myself... what do i do
read "telling yourself the
read "telling yourself the truth" and "SOS for emotions" and take control. it is in your power deep down you know you hate feeling like this and this is how to change. also deep breath excersize, SUNSHINE lots of it and alot of omega 3 foods like almonds walnut etc. also bread and other "feel good carb food without prossesed sugar God bless you this helps me
Bipolar disorder
Just don't even talk about killing yourself. That's your mind off on it's own. The point about living with this "disease" is to recognize that impulses/feelings are not facts. Use your feelings and creativity to your advantage. When in doubt, use your brain, just think about things as logically as possible and make a decision without emotion involved. I am 42 years old, rather succesful, traveled everywhere, and have lived at least 3 lifetimes past the herd. (I have the best stories...) If given the choice between having the "disease" or not, I would choose to have it. However, it really sucks at 15. I truly know: no one diagnosed it back then... Best advice I can give (which may not work for you): figure out what you like to do, work hard, make it your career, and when in doubt, THINK. Having a bunch of ideas is easy; deploying or rejecting them requires discpline. Have fun doing it! (And do yoga- it really works.)
I hate this damn disease. I
I hate this damn disease. I want to die. The imperfect mind in this light is horrible to live with.
Thanks - Very informative.
Hi,
My wife is BP1, rapid cycling with mixed episodes. She was diagnosed about 18 months ago and has just recently become stable on her meds. She would become hyper manic, and could swing twice in a single day. She is a very rapid cycler.
Anyway, Thanks for the info!
Derek
BPBabble.com
If you don't get in line we'll lock you away...
I am a 29 year old male and have Bipolar disorder. I have written numerous moving piano pieces (without the benefit of a formal education). I have my own design TV show that encompasses creative elements. The climax to all my most praised work has been attributed to my highest manic states. Over the years I have been issued several antipsychotics and mood stabilizers which in turn have suppressed my creative thought process. In a society where mental illness still carries a stigmatism, it is often times easier to conform to "whats socially accepted" and to function as others see fit. With no uncertainties, I sincerely believe that HimaBindu K Krishna's views are accurate. The following are lyrics by Dave Matthews (who suffers from mental illness himself)and perhaps gives a lyrical insight to which things I speak about.
Everybody's happy, everybody's free, Keep the big door open, everyone'll come around, Why are you different, why are you that way, If you don't get in line we'll lock you away, it's a typical situation, in these typical times, if you don't get in line we'll lock you away...
Because I am in the public eye, I will respectfully choose to stay anonymous.
That's amazing; I was also
That's amazing; I was also diagnosed with bipolar II along with schizoaffective disorder. I actually have perfect pitch; I can actually play music by ear without even looking at the page. I'm trying to understand the intricacies of composition alongside this; I aspire to study music theory as well as learning to play guitar. I can completely relate to you with regard to the medication; I was prescribed anti-psychotics for my manic phases, in which I would run around in the dead of night because of my insomnia. I hated the insomnia; it was like a force that kept eating me. At first, I loved it, because I would have this constant influx of emotion and creative energy, and this amazing stamina...But at the culmination of all that, I crashed. I had no motivation to do anything. I felt that after three weeks of not sleeping, I felt that I had really forfeited my life, and my sanity. Or the residual amounts of it that I had left...But the weirdest thing was I started hallucinating. I mean, fuck...full-blown hallucinations. Started seein' spiders crawling up my arm; started seeing like a montage of all the scenes of my life flashing before me. I mean, damn...that shit was insane. And soon after, I was checked into a hospital, so I'm better now. I've been remitted, and although I'm back on my feet, I still feel like the medication just utterly mitigated my creative motivation. I'm slowly regaining that drive, but it's gradually coming back....I just wanted to let you know that you aren't in this alone; if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to drop me a line. And I'd love to hear some of your piano pieces sometime....Listen, I'm here for ya; don't let those medications impede your ideations. I know that your creative resilience will catalyze your creative output. Just let me know how it goes...
By the way, I love your Dave Matthews lyrics. Those are one of my favorite lyrics of his...
How do I become independent with this disorder
I haven't been diagnosed for bipolar just yet, I have only been treated for acute anxiety so far. I have started to seek treatment again at my boyfirend's suggestion. I really want to figure out if it's more than just anxiety that is causing me to have so many extreme mood swings. I have been sewing and selling my clothing designs on online for about 6 years now. I always go through these episodes in which I make really stunning pieces and can produce almost 4-6 items in one day. I have never been trained to design clothing and wasn't even taught how to sew. My clothing is usually in high demand on a non-stop basis year round and all over the world. The pieces are very intricate and extremely detailed. During these "manic" episodes I swear I feel like wonder woman and can't be stopped. I always make a huge amount of money in a short period of time and take on a ton of work. Then I crash and get into these deep depressions in which I can't get out of bed and I make very poor decisions. Each time I do, my business suffers, I lose money, customers, I mess up my credit and I always lose my apartments/home. I think I have been evicted at least 4 times. All I want to do is live on my own, take care of kids (I lost custody of my oldest son with autism via CPS during a deep depression) and pay my bills. How can I be productive with these medications especially if they hender your creativity. Is there anyway for me to have a normal life and be independent when I can't seem to get my behavior under control. Someone has suggested that I get on SSI. If there was a way to just be consistant with my work habits, I think I could take care of myself without government help.
Sour with the sweet
I'm a male who is 24 years old. I am a musician/songwriter and realized my manic/depression a couple years ago. Since I am anonymous here, trust me that I am not bragging here, but I am one of the top 3 guitar players and best slide r fiddle player in the area I live in, and I play entirely by ear -- don't know how to read music. Coincidentally, while looking through my songbook tonight, I noticed a strange pattern -- I didn't write a single song that I actually perform in all of 2006. I was in a period of depression that lasted from approximately fall 2005 until fall of 2007. This period is also characterized by my heaviest substance abuse...close to a half gallon of liquor per week usually (for a 21 or 22 year old), along with occasional Rx meds (Percocet and Darvocet type stuff) and marijuana. Looking back now, I hard to believe that I was depressed for two years. Time flies.
As stated in the article, I can track my mood swings by the songs I write. Interestingly, I have written around a dozen songs since October of '07 that I am putting on a new CD -- I have been on an upswing lately.
As for the 15 year old above, I understand completely. There were weeks and seemingly months that thoughts of suicide would enter into my thinking daily. Even as far as planning my own funeral. But it's a long term answer to a short term problem. My best reasoning was to think of my family and how selfish it would be to put them through such intense suffering to "ease" my own. Looking back now, it all seems ridiculous, but for a long time it seemed right...scary how the human mind works.
I have never been on prescription meds (fear of losing the creative and manic periods) but did try St. Johns Wort OTC at my lowest depression point and recommend it as an option to anyone who suffers from depression.
Overall, while I know that my case is not (currently) nearly as serious as that of others, I can't honestly wish it away. How boring life must be for those who feel exactly the same and "normal" every day!
The Positives of Bipolar Disorder
I really liked your distinguished views between bipolar I and bipolar II.
I'm a teenage girl diagnosed with bipolar II and autism. Medications don't seem to work. However, exercise and writing my feelings has almost reliquished my depression. I noticed I sometimes feel as if I'm "out of reality". I feel momentarily like I don't belong in my time period. I also hear voices unvoluntarily, but I can just request they go away and they do.
This mentall illness is both a blessing and a cruse. When I need to do a school project or huge test, I can usually finish it within an hour. However, I have some hallucinations. They are never severe, but they are there. I have a 4.0 GPA while I'm struggling with family situations. People just need to concentrate on things that will help them. If everyone with bipolar disorder took time to know themselves, they could train themselves to rift through the negatives and grow the positives of this illness.
Thank you for this article.
I think that you might
I think that you might actually suffer from schizoaffective disorder, as opposed to autism. Although people with schizoeffective disorder may and do have autistic tendencies. I, myself, was diagnosed with the disorder just recently. I also have a best friend who has it, and perhaps the only person who understands me to such a great extent. He actually leans more on the autistic side, in terms of his behaviours and odd movements, and also in terms of the idiosyncratic complexities of how he interacts socially. He doesn't seem to look anyone in the eye, and the vernacular of his speech is entirely composed of non-sequiturs. He is a very dear friend, and a sweetheart, as well. And probably one of the brightest people I know in terms of Latin American politics, or politics in general. He is brilliant, and sweet. And hilariously funny. I love being around him.
So there are some absolutely positive attributes about this neurological construct that we both share. I try to quell the hallucinations through physical exertion, and in going for walks (constantly). I really don't think I know how to sit still, actually. The thing that actually propels me is that with every step I take, I tell myself that I have defeated the many manifestations of my personality which are my nemeses. I actually have multiple persona in these voices that come into my head. And I try to counter them with every attempt. So I constantly stay busy; and the more activities and creative projects I engage in, the better. I've recently learned guitar (my friend is teaching me, as he is a skilled guitarist in addition to being a brilliant political analyst. And he can make these hilarious impersonations of Andy Kauffman while he plays. He, too, thinks of himself as being from another time period - he's obsessed with the 50s era. He even dresses in vintage jackets from the 1950s. He's a really awesome person.
But I just wanted to let you know that there are some really positive things about this neurological disposition; and there is so much that we can contribute if we channel our energies into creative prospects and endeavors. Remember that people like us are brilliant; that we see things on a completely different stratem of reality than most people, and that the psychosocial stratification which society has impressed upon us is trying to categorically place us in a box. WEll, society sucks, and psychiatrists are undermining our brilliance by drugging us up with clonapin and abilify (those are a few prescribed medications I'm on, as well as a cocktail of about 14 others. So don't give up, and know that I am here for you whenever you need me.
I'm 17 years old, and about
I'm 17 years old, and about a year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Since then, I have been placed on various medications, anti-psychotics and a combination of mood stabilizers, and was also recently hospitalized. I have also been a writer for as long as I can remember, but as soon as my psychiatric treatment started, I quickly ran out of ideas. I have produced little to no worthy material. I'm not going to exagerate, I'm an awesome writer. AWESOME. And not being able to write is torture, it feels like I'm constipated. I hate it. I hate being crazy, but I hate not being able to write even worse.
Creative ability--Bipolar 1
1955-I was diagnosed manic depressive, due to a one year tour of combat in Korea in 1952. I have been under lithium for 53 years. The ups and downs were daily, weekly, monthly. No rest. The lithium didn't seem to work. Yet I married, we had 5 children. Most show the signs but refuse to believe it. I worked hard and we raised a good family. My ideas are a bit unusual and hobbies were very creative.
I had an amatuer radio station for years and designed and built some of my equipment. I built a station that used amatuer sattillites AO-10 & AO-13 to contact other amatuer stations in other parts of the world. I taught my children many of the hobbies I learned. Skiing, archery,mountaniering,camping,sailing, etc. My mind is always on run and I can understand and comprehend any thing I want. Right now it's cosmology. I'm working on Black Matter and it's possibilities. Not just casual intrest. But understand.I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 in the 70s.
Is this the mind of a person with Bipolar 1?
Robert
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