Dissociative Identity Disorder
Biology 202
1998 Second Web Reports
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Dissociative Identity Disorder
Rachel Kaplan
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) is considered by the American Psychiatric Association to be one of 4 main kinds of dissociative disorders (DSM-IV): "The essential feature of dissociative disorders is a disturbance or alteration in the normally integrative functions of identity, memory, or consciousness" (8). If identity is the main function affected, the person is said to have DID.Most non-DID people have one identity comprised of many parts that work harmoniously together. They have only one I-function which consists of a conglomeration of thoughts and feelings formed from connections between many different brain areas. People with MPD, however, have a decentralized, internal network of 2 or more I- functions or "alters," each with its own physiology, behavior, and cognitions.
Dissociation often enables victims to maintain a relatively healthy level of functioning because traumatic memories are disconnected from other information in their minds. A multiple presents her view of DID: "We do not SUFFER FROM MPD. We SURVIVE because of MPD" (6). Living with this disorder is often an extremely lonely, confusing experience. Luckily, there has been much success in treating this disorder thanks to the extensive research conducted into DID etiology.
The etiology may be explained by the diathesis-stress model. There appears to be a biological component given the fact that most people with DID have a family history of the disorder. It has also been found that people who are easily hypnotized are more susceptible to DID (5). The stress is known to come from severe physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse at a developmentally sensitive stage in childhood (3).
When a person experiences extreme stress "endogenous, stress-responsive neurohormones, such as cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine (NE), vasopressin, oxytocin and endogenous opioids" are released (10). These substances induce glucose release and activate the immune system, enabling the organism to effectively deal with the stress. Chronic stress, however, such as repeated sexual abuse, decreases the effectiveness of this system. It has been hypothesized that when the system is bombarded with chronic stress, there is a malfunction in the negative feedback loop which goes from the neurohormones back to the hypothalamus and pituitary gland. As a result, the system begins operating in positive feedback mode; increased cortisol release, for example, leads to increased cortisol production. The desensitization of the system causes the person to have an intense stress reaction in the presence of even the smallest trigger. Abnormalities in the limbic system have also been implicated in this condition.
This desensitized state exacerbates the dissociative process. In order to survive extreme stress, many children psychologically separate "thoughts, feelings, memories, and perceptions of traumatic experiences" (2). This coping method becomes increasingly ingrained the more frequent the abuse. The resulting highly conditioned, hypersensitive survival technique leads to impaired functioning. A person with a young child as one of his alters might bring out that child whenever there is even the slightest threat of an anxiety-provoking situation. In this way, if a traumatic event occurs, the pain gets isolated to one faction, a storage space, of the overall personality.
Memories from traumatic experiences are encoded in a unique way. Pierre Janet has suggested that the emotional impact of the trauma prevents the victim from translating the experience into the words and symbols which would be stored in the semantic memory. Instead, the experience gets stored in a "somatosensory or iconic level" form which makes for vivid and accurate recall (10). For example, 4-5 months after witnessing a murder, subjects showed excellent recall for details about the event (Cutshall 1989) (11). Neuroimaging studies have shown that during the stimulation of traumatic memories, there is decreased activity in Broca's area, the part of the brain most concerned with the translation of experience into words, and increased activity in the right hemisphere areas, parts which are involved in the processing of emotional and visual information. (Rauch et al., 1995) (11). A person with DID has stored these emotional and visual representations of traumatic incidents in a whole identity that is as stunted as the memories themselves.
Storage in semantic memory is easier on the ego because experiences are tempered through their translation. Also, because semantic memory integrates input into existing mental schemata, the information is subject to learning effects (10). When recalled, these memories are subject to distortion because of their emergence in a new context. There is debate, however, about whether traumatic memories can ever be changed. It has been found that with time sensorimotor and iconic memories tend to become restored as words and symbols which can be processed in connection with existing mental schemes (10). LeDoux, on the other hand, has postulated that "once formed, the subcortical traces of the conditioned fear response are indelible, and that 'emotional memory may be forever'" (10). LeDoux's theory does not bode well for the ability of trauma victims to unload their burdensome memories. There is definitive evidence, at least, that memories may be recovered.
Research has shown that memory retrieval is "state dependent (10): "physiological arousal in general can trigger trauma-related memories, while, conversely, trauma-related memories precipitate generalized physiological arousal (10). This phenomenon might explain why the presence of a trigger for a traumatic memory may induce a "switching" of alters. The memory may induce a stress reaction which would ultimately produce a different physiological state. It seems possible, given that alters have been shown to have different physiologies, that a specific physiological state might correspond with a specific alter. The concept of corollary discharge may be used to explain why the actions of one alter may affect the mind-set of others despite the psychological separation of these entities.
People with DID are reluctant to integrate their separate identities because they use them to cope; however, patients' quality of life has been shown to increase following treatment. Therapy should involve a nursing, medical, and primary therapist component. Therapists may direct patients to increase the strength of the entire system through increased internal communication and cooperation, the build up of ego strength, and the increased taking of responsibility for internal actions (7). It is very important that the patient gain a sense of control over his current cognitions and past memories. The multiple may gain control by recognizing the abused child's thoughts and feelings and by altering negative self-images (8). It is also vital that both the therapist and the patient show equal respect to all the alters.
Hypnotherapy and nonverbal therapy are commonly used in the treatment of DID. Hypnotherapy is commonly used in treating DID because of its facilitation of memory retrieval, "calming, soothing, containment, and ego strengthening" qualities (4). It can be used to increase communication between the alters and between the alters and the therapist. This method may also help in "fusion rituals (when previous psychotherapeutic work has cause a particular separateness to no longer serve a meaningful function for the patient's intrapsychic and environmental adaptation and when the patient is no longer narcissistically invested in maintaining the particular separateness)" (4). This is interesting because it indicates that a patient's pride might serve as an obstacle to his convalescence. The danger to hypnotherapy is that it may cause a patient to believe in a fantasy which he creates while under hypnosis.
Nonverbal treatment methods such as art and play therapy have also been proven useful in treating DID. Art therapy seems to be a freer expression of thoughts and feelings than verbal methods. The right side of the brain is more involved with creativity and the imagination; whereas, the left side is more concerned with language. Stimulating the right hemisphere might bring up "sensorimotor and iconic" memories more readily than if the person needed to filter input through the left hemisphere (10).
In general, most people respond fairly well to treatment depending on their baseline comorbidity (9). It has been shown that 60% of patients who undergo treatment maintain stable integration, which is defined by Kluft as "3 stable months of continuity of contemporary memory, with the absence of behaviorally evident separate identities (9).
DID research raises a lot of questions about the nature of the I-function. What are the implications of its being able to be fragmented? Perhaps the other I-functions, or separate identities, are merely different centers of connections with some of the same and some of their own links to other brain areas. Maybe the mechanism of the "fusion rituals" during hypnosis involves the solidification of links between the most dominant I-function and the alters such that when one is activated, the whole system becomes activated. Another possibility is that everyone possesses different centers of connections and somehow after repeated dissociation episodes, some people's links become severed.
Findings from DID research may be helpful for DID and non-DID sufferers alike. Research into this area has shed a lot of light into what kinds of cognitions lead to healthy functioning, among the most important of which are the need for a sense of control and self-love and respect. The research also highlights the interconnectedness of the mind and body: the fact that the psychological has a very real affect on the physiological and vice versa.
Works Cited
1) Re: Multiple Personality Disorders "NOSSCR Online"
2) The Effects of DID on Children of Trauma Survivors "Sidran"
3) Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder) "Sidran"
4) Guidelines for Treatment "ISSD"
5) About Multiple Personality Disorder and Dissociation
7) Clinical Case Study #2: "Hardscrabble Communications"
8) An Overview of Diagnosis and Treatment
9) Two-Year Follow-Up of Inpatients With Dissociative Identity Disorder
10) The Body Keeps the Score: Memory and the evolving psychobiology of post traumatic stress
11) Dissociation and the Fragmentary Nature of Traumatic memories: Overview and Exploratory Study
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Continuing conversation
(to contribute your own observations/thoughts, write Serendip) 11/28/2005, from a Reader on the Web Excellent resource about the topic. |
1) What are some of the day-to-day concerns or issues people with the disorder face or people they live with face.
2) also, what are the percentage of cases in the U.S. of the people who have this disorder ... Evan Norrgard, 8 May 2006
I was diagnosed with DID. I see alot of pictures and visuals in my mind. I take these and work with what I see. If I see a house that has has a storm come throught I talk to myself and the alters about the storm. I also talk to THe Holy Spirit and see his help. I will ask the parts if they want to come an be integrated into me. They ususally do after some talk. I always feel relieve after such a talk.
I function well and work and enjoy a full life now, But I know there is more for me and I want travel the world and experience more goodness in life.
A hard part of this is that my mother and sisters do not except that anything traumatic ever happened to me and talk as though nothing ever happened. It is really strange.
Thank you for you imput. I wish I could come for some treatment, however I do not think that your prices are within my price range ... Lena, 3 December 2006
I suffer with DID and now after years of therapy, I seem to be going backward instead opf forward. There are so many stressors in my life right now I cant cope...any suggestions to help? ... Sam, 28 April 2007
How can I best help a friend with DID?
I'm sorry to write this here but I don't know where else to go to and I don't want to tell any of my friends out of respect for him, because I know he would hate that, but I am concerned that the guy I'm involved with has DID. He was in hospital a year ago with a dissociative illness. (not DID, I think amnesia or fugue, I get confused between the two.) I've been trying to learn more about dissociative illnesses myself so I can understand and help him because he doesn't like to talk about it much. I think he feels ashamed, he said he's scared of losing his job and going back to hospital - I know he had a horrible scary time there. At times he's very open, caring, saying he loves me,saying we're a couple,telling me he wants the relationship to develop, tells me I'm wonderful... Sometimes he's almost like a child, sulky, frightened, craving love and upset at the most irrational things which he perceives as rejections. Then sometimes he is cold, disrepectful, and he talks differently. He admitted the other day he doesn't always remember conversations either. I thought I was imagining it until he told me that but I do see him struggle trying to remember when I mention conversations we've had, but he won't talk much about it, so I wasn't sure until he said so himself. He has also described what sounds like derealisation, basically saying people seem unreal around him. He gets frequent headaches, and fairly minor, manageable bouts of depression. He has also recently become very focused on his body image and lost loads of weight very very quickly. I recently read that eating disorders are also sometimes secondary symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder. But even if that isn't what it is, it worries me in itself. It really doesn't seem healthy, he looks pale and stressed a lot of the time, and I know he has trouble sleeping sometimes too. I love him very very much and I only wish he would trust me enough to talk about it. Because he is obviously troubled by something, if not DID then something else, perhaps just struggling with the childhood traumas he faced which he has touched upon but not told me about in detail. I see him flinch in pain when it comes up in conversation and I'm certain it wouldn't be kind to force him to talk about these memories yet.
But what should I do? Can I help him? My friends who haven't met him basically just think he's screwing me around by switching how he feels, saying we're together and wanting extreme closeness one minute, then this other side of him comes out and he just doesn't want a relationship, it's like the affectionate conversations never took place. But they don't know him, and I can't tell them about his time in hospital because he doesn't want it talked about, even though sometimes I find it difficult not to tell my friends about the things he has faced and confronted because I'm so proud of him. All our mutual friends who do know him and have seen us together believe he cares for me and say we're a great couple. These people are honest and I trust them, and I'm sure they wouldn't encourage a relationship if they believed he was just playing me. It's still incredibly confusing for me, and it must be for him too - I wish we could deal with it together. It is also painful and humiliating for me if people think he is just jerking me around and I'm buying his excuses. But I don't believe that is the case. He's so considerate, and I don't believe he wants to hurt me. If anything he is distancing himself because he doesnt want to hurt me. But I love him so much, and I love him unconditionally. I would do anything for him. It's worth any amount of complications if he truly has the feelings he says he does. I just wish he could trust me enough to let me love him and share a little bit more of what he's going through.
i am a year 10 student and
i am a year 10 student and have currently taken an interest in DID or multiple personality disorders and am planning to write a paper on it for english. i would much appreciate it, as i am trying to gather as much information as possible, if anyone would like to share something. I was wondering how many alter personalities one person could have; and what are such possible ones.
thank you.
hope this helps :)
Hi, I'll try to help you with that :)
i'm not actually diagnosed with it or anything, but i have read alot about it and couldn't possibly be more sure that i have DID.
so i'll help the best i can!
a few years ago i had ALOT of alters, and i mean ALOT!
i'd say 25 atleast, i'm not too sure though, my memory is a little fuzzy so far back.
a few months ago i began piling all my alters into several primary alters. all the simular ones were all grouped together and eventually made one for each group.
it was only a few days ago that i developed my fourth primary alter.
so i hope that helps with how many someone can have :)
now, my four i've taken the time to name them, give them an age, etc. i've pretty much gone the whole 9 yards with this:
Rusty (my favorite one) - Is an 8 year old child. rusty carries the optomism, and happiness, and luv for hugs... just like a real child. my best friend katie (my bestest friend ever) is always trying to help me with personal problems like this, and rusty actually sees her as a motherly figure... several times when rusty was in control he almost called her mom by , accident XD
Z (my inner good) - Is a very mature 16 year old. Z is like a gaurdian for my alters, he sees rusty as a younger brother, and is the only one who is able to contact one of my other alters, KOG. Z constantly warns katie of any signs of danger and does his best to not only protect me, but y friends as well.
KOG (my inner evil) - is probably about 24 years old. he is the result of all my pent up anger and stress, i fear that if he ever gains control again that he'll hurt my friends and everyone else. he controlled me alot as a child, but i wasn't able to do much so he wasn't a threat... but now, if he ever got control, he'd pretty much go on a killing spree. He and Z are at constant war for control of me.
Veritas (whom i assume is the true me) - a 19 year old. he's suicidal and is always miserable. he usually is in control of me at night when i'm alone in my bed, he usually just cries... someimes he'll try taking one of my daggers and drive it through my chest, fortunetly he can't handle the pain of it and automatically puts Z into control...
my worst fear is that KOG will control me and kill Katie and the rest of my very few friends...
anyways, i hope this helped u a bit :D
i'm 15 by the way, and no one in my family knows that i have it... just a select few of my friends, and the people online that i tell, like u and anyone else reading this
i didn't put my real name because i dont want someone i know to accidently stumble across this and use it against me (i already had someone threaten me with this before)
and by someone i know, i mean one of the kids at school that picks on me... which is alot of them
The DID experience as told by a survivor
Jordan,
If you want to see DID from the inside, read Sky Eyes by Kriss Erickson. The book chronicles her life from infancy to her cure. It's told in story form with the names changed to protect the guilty (some are still alive and might sue).
You can find it at http://www.akwbooks.com/BookStore/product.php?productid=16 in eBook form.
It's a very powerful story and you should make sure you can handle the details before you decide to read it. But it should make writing a paper on the subject a snap.
Help for the partner of a DID suffer
Can anyone please give me any advice or help with better understanding DIDs and how it affects onlookers and the person suffering?
I want to be there for my partner and help support her through everything, therefore i want to learn and prepare myself as much as possible.
any help would be appreciated.
Thank you and your all wonderful and so courageous!
DID
Hello,
I don't have DID but I am doing a paper on it. I am in school for a Masters in Counseling. I would love to speak with someone who has been diagnosed. I would like to know what it is you are experiencing. I will not judge nor question what you tell me. I will listen with an open and honest ear...
Maybe we can chat through email...
I have DID. I would be
I have DID. I would be willing to help if I can. Please do not write if you are just playing games. I am willing to share my story for those who want to learn to help others or themselves. I have been in therapy for many years and even volunteer at a mental health facility as a peer counselor. I am basically computer "challenged", but have finally given in to the need of them.
Face to face communication is safer for us, as I can read people well. Had to do that to survive. Anyway, reply if you think I might help.
Hi, a relative of mine whom
Hi,
a relative of mine whom I've been close to most of my life has recently been diagnosed with DID. She hasn't seen much support and therefore hasn't told many people. She also lives in a different state so I have been as much support as I can by email and chat. I've been learning and reading as much as I can and am trying to come up with some support for her. I don't know if enough is being done to help her, she sees a therapist once a week, doesn't seem like enough when this is all so new. I would like to either speak with you about what treatment you found most helpful, or possibly connect the two of you (as I see you do peer support) so that she could have someone who understands as an email buddy or something? I'm not sure if it gives you my email address here, but if you are willing I can post it for you to contact me privately.
Thank you.
DID Research
I have been diagnosed to have DID. I am a 54 year old white male and have been struggling with complications of child abuse my whole life. I've been seeing a therapist for years but I still suffer from this condition quite a bit. I'd be glad to share any information about my condition with you.
Tom
DID
The topic would be a good one from the standpoint of counselling. After all, success for a multiple is measured by the ability to compartmentalize relationships so that no one ever catches on; those who know one persona never encounter the people who know another. When people start comparing notes you are well and truly caught!
It's quite possible that someone would marry a gentle, sweet, caring person and then, long after, call them at work or meet their past friends and stumble across another personality that was nowhere near what they had bargained for. Allusions to Jekyll and Hyde can be pretty realistic characterizations of the situation and this can be hell for a marriage.
That said, what you ask strikes me as dangerous. The multiple (Dissociative Identity is such a hideous clinical neologism and unrelated to how the multiple thinks of themselves) is, by definition, a pretty fragile character. Asking them to correspond with a stranger over the internet might be risky. Anyway, unless they had pretty much been successfully through the drill of re-integrating the personalities, who would you actually be talking to? How much would they really know about what the other guys were up to? How much of the compartmentalization/secrecy/you-can't-find-me game would they be playing with you?
new
I'm new to this. I know I have DID but have never spoken to anyone else who has it. Just trying to find my way.
Curious
I'm doing a paper on DID, and I was just wondering what it's like. I've done the ends and odds of research and i know all about it, but you can't really know something unless you know it personally, so I was wondering if you could help me.
hey
are you a reputable doctor?
Research
As someone who fits almost all of the symptoms for DID for the past few months, except the not remembering what my alters have done, and saying "we" instead of "I" (and yes I realize those don't happen to everyone with DID), but has not yet been diagnosed, I'd probably offer a fairly unique background and would be gald to help with a research paper.
I HATE DIDS
This is so hard for me. I don't know who I really am. Sometimes I'm who I was as a child and my regular self Robert. But other times I take on the alter ego of an agressive woman named Roberta. Other times I am a passive woman named Anita and other times I become Donald. The worst one is Donald, because I am constantly committing crimes when I am Donald. I need help, someone please help me before I take on another identity!!! I just wish this would just go away and I could go back to being Robert!
hi
my name is justin and i am 17. i think i may have DID. I have been seening a someone for it for about a year. The only problem is that i know they people tat take over me. This alters that I have been reading know me as well as i know them. My problem is that i dont know if that would make this a different from of DID. I have alot of the syptoms but seem to be able to remember so of the things that my other alters did well they were in my body. I also some to get flash backs of my and some of my alters lifes. I am not sure but i think i have it. If someone would reply and answer my question it would be nice.
thank you for your time
Justin
Justin, It is difficult to
Justin,
It is difficult to know whether you have DID or not. Mostly because while many people identify with some of the symptoms associated with DID, DID remains a very controversial entity. Many other, better understood (and more easily treated) conditions may appear like DID, such as bi-polar disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, as well as other personality and factititious disorders. Depending on the therapist, some who claim to treat DID use hypnotherapy to actually suggest to the patient that they have multiple selves. There is also a belief in some of the practitioners that DID stems from chronic and severe abuse, but this too is often suggested to the patients and can run the risk of creating false memories in patients.
So, while many people may identify with DID, there is in fact some question as to whether this is an actual disorder, or whether it is a variant of other mental illnesses.
I would consult a physician, and also a cognitive-behaviorally oriented psychotherapist. Beware of people who claim to treat DID as a specialty and especially those who claim to "treat" DID and the effects of supposed abuse with radical therapies including hypnosis
research paper
Hi I was wondering if some one might be whiling to tell me about the treatments they have recieved and if they feel like it helped? I have a few more questions to ask all regarding treament.
Thanks ATH
College student
Hello
my name is Hillarie and i have been touched by the experiences i have heard and read about concerning the survivors of DID.
I am a Psychology major and writing a reserch paper on Dissociative Identity Disorder.
If any are willing i would deeply appreciate an(can be anonymous) interview through email to better understand the victims.
You choose the information you give me
Thank you for your help and God bless.
college student
I am willing to answer questions. It is nice to think that there are those who want to learn about DID, hoprfully making life easier for future patients. So I am open to answering questions from those learning and those living with DID.
Carol
Research paper
Hi Hillarie, I would be glad to help you if I can with your paper. If you would like to ask me questions, I think that would be easiest for me. I am open to suggestion. Lisa
What a coincidence
I was diagnosed with DID about a year ago. This is the first time I have gone to the internet to read up on this, because I have been in denial that this is really the problem. When I saw the name serendip, I was elated. I used that name when I was on the internet before. I have been off the internet for about 5 years and just have gotten back on. There are things that have happened and I know there is no other explanation but DID. I really want to know why you chose serendip as your name. I chose that name before I was diagnosed or even had a clue this could be the problem that I have spent so many years in therapy for. I just know that that name is special to me. I was serendip2 on my service provider because the name was taken already and I wrote to that person for several years. Maybe someone inside was trying to tell me that we/they were special. Anyway, I don't get to talk to anyone about this. My children are just starting to talk to me again after being told I have DID. I feel like a freak and don't want anyone to know. Please drop me a note and tell me about serendip.
about serendip
Re: about serendip
This is the most amazing site. I have been on it all day and night. I have a feeling I will be spending alot of time here. Thanks serendip for all the info. serendip2
join the crowd
I HAVE DID WITH EIGHT ALTERS RANGING IN AGE FROM FOUR TO FIFTY, I AM FORTY THREE
WE ARE NOT ALONE THIS DISORDER GIVES ME HEADACHES AND OTHER DIFFICULTIES.
DID and Headaches
I've been wrestling with DID for years but did not know there was a clinical term for it until a few years ago. This has been the strangest journey for me over the last few years and I have had an unbelieveable time with chronic headaches. These have been more than headaches for me, but headaches seems to be the easiest way to describe my suffering. The headaches I get usually last for several days (3 to 5)and are at times debilitating requiring time off from work. The headaches are usually accompanied by pain in my shoulders as well and they come with heart palipitations, shortness of breath and a general feeling of anxiety. I've wanted to converse with another DID victim who has headaches to see if there are similarities.
My belief is that my chronic headaches are the result of inter personality conflicts that I have with my altars and I'd like to talk with someone who has DID and headaches to see if there is some common ground.
Tom
hey everyone saying that i
hey everyone
saying that i know what you all are going through would be completely exaggerated
however, my partner suffers from DID
if anyone feels like talking just mail me
Hello.. can you help me?
Hi my names Laurence,
Im new to this forum and to DID. I don't have it but my potential partner does (we are yet to start dating because she wants me to know everything before i commit). As someone who needs to take care and support the diagnosed partner, what is it like? how can i be the rock of support she needs? What should i look out for and mostly is it hard to deal with being the outsider
I hope these questions arn't offensive or rude in anyway, i sincerely apologise if they have not sounded right. I just have never known about this disorder before and i do not know if i need to prepare myself or how best to help support her. I care about her so deeply, and all i want is to be there for her.
Please if you could give me any help or knowledge that would be most appreciated.
Hello from a DID sufferer
Hi,
My wife and I have been dealing with DID for about 5 years. I have it and she has stuck by my side. It has been very difficult for her not knowing who she is talking to or if she would come home to find me a bloody mess or full of more tattoos. Accorcing to my Psychiatrist it is not uncommon for people with DID to hurt themselves to bring them out of the dissociation. I used to have 10 alters and am now down to 3. To say it is a difficult living with the disorder is minamalizing it. I have depression which often accompanies it and so I am dealing with the two for one sale. I have had 3 different Psychologists in the past 5 years and 5 different therapists. I have been heavily medicated so I would be a slobbering fool and that was unacceptable. I made my new psychologist accept that I will go on the lower doses because I need to work and live life. Problems.....hmm You didn't say if your partner is a male or female so excuse me for the following information. I also do not know if you are a male or female. As my alters integrated my personality and desires changed. I used to be artistic. I am no longer interested in doing such things. I was always heterosexual and now am bisexual and this has caused quite a stir in my marriage. That is a long story I will not get into.
How am I doing right now? Well I am working at a job that pays just over minimum wage and has no benefits but I am at least helping with the bills a little bit. Last night and tonight have been hell because I have had my one alter trying to convince me to kill myself. I have had several attempts the most recent one when he took over my body and hung us in the truck. I came around and managed to get the noose off my neck before I blacked out.
I am sure not all these things are typical. There are things that I do not tell my wife for fear she will go running into the night. To tell you the truth I am afraid to tell her. I want to stay alive to help take care of my grandson that is only a month old. He is a good boy and my younger alter likes to play with him. All my alters interact with each other and even the one that is doing bad stuff takes care of the young one.
All I can say is to try to be kind and caring to your partner and remember that he/she is not doing this for attention. It is something that we wish we didn't have to deal with. If you would like to contact me I wouldn't mind. I have a private email at timtruck44@yahoo.com.
God Bless you Both
Tim
DID &PARTNERS
hey everyone,i have DID & so does my partner now & the one we were with for 10yrs. we don't want to b intergrated, who do we get rid of? as a partner of someone that suffers from this disorder we have learned to accept each alter for the person they r, whether they r male or female. most times they share but there r times when thet r very secretive for alittle while then they come clean with us. we r the same, if we do not feel that someone will not accept us for who we r at the time we will close down. just b patient they will come around when u show them that u LOVE and SUPPORT them all.we also switch alot when we r under alot of stress.we were diagonesed in 1995 and did well on medication and saw a therapist that specialized in DID. recently we(not with my partner)moved to look after our mother & stepfather in the states. of course the medical is the shits here as opposed to canada so we r unable to seek councelling or medication which has put us in a tailspin.so we r all over the place.our partner is still in canada & we travel a couple times a year to see each other & write & toc on the phone everynite for hours.we try to ground each other and toc to each others alters & try to keep each other from completly losing it. so far its touch & go.your partner will come around but eeryone has to b onboard. TRUST in yourself & your partner they will in turn toc to u & see if they r accepted. GOODLUCK PEACEOUT
My partener has DID and I'm going crazy
My partner of 10 years seems to be involved intimately with another person causing me to feel insecure and uncomfortable about our relationship. Because she either is unable or unwilling to let her others talk with me, I don't feel I am able to address the situation and therefore am unable to rectify this problem. I would appreciate any help and information anyone might offer. Thanks very much.
My boyfriend has DID and I
My boyfriend has DID and I have the same feelings of insecurity as you do about it. I was relieved to read your comment, b/c I was sitting here feeling guilty and self absorbed for feeling "left out" of my lover's life. I get my feelings hurt sometimes when he tells me his alters do not want to talk to me. I feel like if he loves me, then they all should. He's constantly having conversations in his head which sometimes makes me feel lonely. Thanks for sharing.
DID
How can I get help if they won't let me get help?
ahhhh
i know exactly! i am a male and in the begining i came across as Psychopathic, but then something changed and i felt depressed and noticed the difference, and my aunt thinks it might be bi polar but its too drawn out. now i feel guilt and whatever etc. and im studying into DID and awaiting to see my psychologist to further investigate it. i do talk to myself in terms of "we" and "lets". the thought controle me sometimes other times it talks to me and is very insightful, other times very aggressive. i often feel i dont know who i am, i feel like sometimes my body is going on automatic and im in the background watching minutes passsssssssss...........white snow isnt my name.. the name as seen above, is thine name of the one who is in thee shadows. his name comes forth rare, the analogy of the red dragon is heard often, who are these spirits in my head? who knows. all i do know is, im at peace, with whatever it is.
OH GOD
im trying to see if im DID, my mother was DID and after reading the post by white snow i have thee EXACT things going on with me, whats even weirder is i heard the name White snow before in my head too, and its the same thing in regards to the red dragon...
I have recently discovered
I have recently discovered that it is quite plausible that I have DID. I have come to realize that when someone hurts me emotionally or if something traumatic happens my personality completely changes. Usually I am a very compassionate, forgiving person and I love my family to death. But when I faced with something very painful or stressful I become a completely person altogether. My other personality is hateful, self-destructive, and I see everything completely different. I view life as a waste of time instead of being thankful. Normally I am a very religious person and I thank God every day for my life. I am a girl and usually I am very feminine, but my other self is very masculine. I hang out with guys and act like them and I find myself attracted to women. When I am my normal self I am terrified of men, except for the ones I know very well, like my husband and my father. There is a lot more than is wrong with me and a lot more details about my two personalities but I feel that I have written enough. I really would just like someone to talk to and help me figure out what is wrong with me. I don't know what else to do. A response would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Maj
Reponse for Maj: I have the same problem
There is an alter that comes out when I am rejected by someone I consider very important to my life. I hear a diaologue in my head of someone telling me to kill myself to get out of the pain. I have had 8 major suicide attempts and luckily the last one, I had good therapists that recognized DID. I had been fired from my job because an alter came out at work that is not professional. I had been under tremendous stress after my husband burned our house down with him in it. I feel in so many ways I caused his death. My biggest worry is that I will attempt suicide again. I isolate myself alot to put myself away from as many people that I can until I can integrate further. The whole thing is so scarey, but I am working hard to get to a place where I have more control. Since I have started having inner dialogues with the alters and just acknowledging their presence, it has gotten much better. serendip2
relapse
Dear Seendip,
I have experienced what the doctors tell me is an unusual pattern. I waqs diagnosed with (then) MPD in 1985. I was in my early 30's and I was hospitalized due to suicidal ideation and depression. I had been hospitalized one other time in my life, for the same symptoms, in 1970.
After the first hosp, I was sent home with antidepressants (trycychlits (sp))and I never returned to see the psychiatrist and of course stopped taking the medication. i seemed to be relatively ok for 15 years, married, had children, divorced and got a BA degree. Then out of the blue, I was depressed again, began seeing a therapist, decompensated, no obvious new psychosocial stressors.
At that point I was hosp for 3 months time (good insurance back then) and was diagnosed because staff and doctor noticed the alter personalities. I was sent home on anti-depressants again, treated for about 2 years and was integrated.
I went on to get an M.A. in psychology and worked in the field in several capacities, including private practice, for another 18 years, with no symptoms of depression or disassociation.
In 2005, I dicovered that my husband of 12 years had been having an affair. I had a complete breakdown, including my first psychotic episode. I was treated initially with anti-psychotic and antidepressant medication. The anti-psychotic medication was stopped after a few days. This episode has not completely resolved as of 28 months later. Disassociation is less frequent but not gone and depression is better but still not resolved.
Obviously the psycho-social stressor is the main variable in this episode and it has not been resoved completely either, in part due to the disassociative episodes.
I wonder is this an unusual pattern? My 2nd question is, is it more difficult to recover and reintegrate, as one grows older? Lastly, is there any new treatment method or medication that has been effective in recovering from a relapse such as mine?
Thank you for your time. A resonse would be greatly appreciated.
sincerely,
Anon
I am a 54 year old white
I am a 54 year old white female. I have been seeing counselors and shrinks since I can remember. I have been treated for and medicated for: depression, alcoholism - addiction to anything that would change the way I feel, dissociative disorder. I crashed through two marriages, raised my wonderful daughters the hard way, graduated with honors from nursing school right before I crashed and burned ending up in rehab. I am now 16 years sober. About three and a half years ago, Wanda, one of my me's, ratted me out to my current counselor that she was tired of cleaning up after me. She told him that not only was I a multiple, but that I was bi-polar. She explained that as soon as I would get through a depressive phase, I would quit going to the shrink as I rode the high graciously provided by the SSRI's provided by the psychiatrists.
My bi-polar is regulated. I got to tell you I miss my mania, but I love my God, my husband and my family. I am not fully integrated, but I know my family and Wanda has forgiven me. I love all of the little warriers within me that kept my secrets and kept me safe until the dawn. God bless all.
wow
I have not ben diagnosed with DID...but I know I have it. Also many other things like depression. I have no money, so I can not get help, but want it and need it. I know I am not "crazy", talking to Sara and others, and finely seeing someone who, I thought was only in my head. your input informed more of what I already knew, thankyou.
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