Cocaine in the Brain
Biology 202
2000 First Web Report
On Serendip
Cocaine in the Brain
Melissa Hoegler
"Cocaine delivers an intensity of pleasure - and despair - beyond the bounds of normal human experience."During the 1980s, Partnership for a Drug Free America began airing commercials that seem to either frighten or educate people about the use of illegal drugs. One of these commercials avowed, "No one ever says, 'I want to be a junkie when I grow up'." The comment is obvious, but very true. Probably very few people aspire to be drug addicts. But it happens, everyday. Why? What is so good about a drug that can potentially destroy a person's body? How does it work? What are its effects on the brain? Why is it so hard to quit?
Cocaine (C17H21NO4) comes from the leaf of an Erythroxylon coca bush. It is a drug that effects the central nervous system. It causes feelings of euphoria, pleasure, increased energy and alertness. People under the influence of cocaine often do not feel the need for food or sleep. They also feel energetic and may talk a lot. However, depending on factors such as environment, dosage, and the manner in which the drug is taken, cocaine can have adverse effects such as violent, erratic behavior, dizziness, paranoia, insomnia, convulsions, and heart failure to name a few. Long- term effects of cocaine include, but are not limited to strokes, heart attacks, seizures, loss of memory, and decrease in learning capability (1).
People may not always know the exact consequences of the drug they are taking, however, chances are that they do know that the drug is unhealthy for them. Schools across the country educate about the dangers of drug use and abuse through programs like D.A.R.E., television stations show anti-drug advertisements as a public service, and even city buses blazon anti-drug propaganda. People are aware that very rarely does anything good come from drug use, and still, everyday people fall victim to drugs. Why do people succumb to the urge to try drugs? It feels good...why else?
When a person takes cocaine, it causes a rush. There is between one or two minutes of intense pleasure. This is followed by five to 8 minutes of euphoria, then as the high comes down, an overwhelming urge for more, which may last for a day. (3) When a user is between cocaine doses or halts usage, the opposite effects occur. The user is depressed and tired (2).
Cocaine is attractive to users because it triggers dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is present in many regions of the brain. In normal mice, the introduction of cocaine increases dopamine by 150 percent. Dopamine regulates movement, emotion, motivation, and the feeling of pleasure. In a normal brain, dopamine is released by a neuron into a synapse and then it moves to dopamine receptors on other neurons. It is then moved back to the neuron that transmitted the dopamine initially.
When cocaine enters the area of the brain where the dopamine is located, it blocks the reuptake pumps that remove the dopamine from the synapse of the nerve cell. Thus, more dopamine gathers at the synapse and feelings of intense pleasure result. This feeling continues until cocaine is naturally removed from the system (2). Research findings by the National Institute of Drug Addiction (NIDA) demonstrate that cocaine not only effects the level of dopamine in the brain, but also the level of seratonin. In a study using mice without dopamine transporters, the mice were given cocaine and they still experienced rewarding effects. This was obvious because the animals kept on attempting to get or self-administer more. These researchers speculate that more than one neurotransmitter is responsible for the pleasurable feeling cocaine yields (2). Although main hypothesis as to why cocaine is so pleasurable, is that it alters levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and seratonin, some scientists report that cocaine effects approximately 90 different parts of the brain, not just the two main regions of the amygdala and the nucleus accumbens. However, it is interesting that it is these two regions of the brain that remain active after the cocaine has left the system, and the powerful, uncontrollable desire for the drug has set in. (3)
The first time people use cocaine and its effects fade, they want more. Such is the nature of the drug. The main reason cocaine use continues is the need to experience the "high" and the development of dependence. Dependence is, "the need to maintain a level of the drug in the brain to both satisfy the need and stimulate the reward center, and avoid physical withdrawal symptoms" (5). There is continual research occurring about dependence and how it can be streamlined.
It was recently discovered through newer imaging techniques that cocaine hinders blood flow. This is why is it can cause brain damage or defects. Recent research demonstrates that if a cocaine user even thinks about cocaine, the blood flow is altered . This suggests that the addictive nature of the drug is stronger than we think, because simply thinking about it produces similar results in addicts' brains' (4). This is likely to be a result of the way in which cocaine changes the structure of an abuser's brain. For example n experiments done with lab rats, scientists reported that after repeated exposure to cocaine, the rats' dendrites changed by becoming bigger and denser. This means that an increase in synaptic connectivity results from cocaine use which triggers people and animals to work harder to attain the drug (6).
Scientists are working furiously for a way to combat cocaine addiction. They specifically are examining the genetic factors that contribute to the addiction (5). However, even if scientists do identify all of the factors that cause addiction, they are still faced with the dilemma of how exactly to stop the addiction. New hope to end cocaine addiction lies in experimental drugs, such as one that is used to treat epilepsy and holistic approaches such as acupuncture.
Although it may seem like science knows a great deal about addiction and the effects of cocaine, scientific knowledge still cannot make the cocaine problem disappear. There is no sure cure for cocaine addiction. Once you try the drug, addiction strikes randomly, like a bullet in a game of Russian roulette. There is no cure for the addiction. Before trying the drug, really think, is a moment of pleasure worth a lifetime of pain?
WWW Sources
1)Facts About Cocaine, The Addiction Research Foundation out of Canada produced this site. It contains basic information about cocaine, its effects, and facts about addiction.2)Cocaine's Pleasurable Effects May Involve Multiple Chemical Sites, This site is a part of NIDA notes. It explains theories about the way cocaine effects the brain. There is a picture of how cocaine effects the neurotransmitter .
3) Intricate Effects of Cocaine on the Brain Seen In Scans , Some older (3 years), but more controversial research about cocaine use. It shows cool pictures of brain scans.
4) Researches see how cocaine Affects the Brain, Highlights an experiment involving images of butterflies and cocaine. Interesting results.
5) New Targets in the Brain's Reward CenterThis article concentrates on the genetic causes of coke addiction.
6) Repeated Exposure To Cocaine Alters Brain Structure", Talks about the long term effect of coke on the brain and nerves.
where the cool pictures mentioned. just another article with pictures. dont need to see what cocaine looks like but what the brain looks like after extended use ... Kelley, 22 November 2006
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Comments
FANTASTIC
Melissa, first I would like to say....I read your report and it was excellent. I am a recovering cocaine addict with 18 continuous years clean and this is the first article I have read that was really on the money and not boring to read. As for Shane Skylar, let me advise you that you could use a meeting (NA) cause you are still using and second, go back to school with your illiterate behind. Shane, you really could use a narcotics anonymous meetings.......DRUGS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND,...hehe. Look at what you wrote (see the part in Melissa's report, cocaine users talk too much). I'm just sayin.........
Getting Help is NOT hard
Lots of people on here are looking for help.
IT'S NOT HARD TO FIND...especially in Canada
You'll find help the same way you probably found this page....google
For some, it takes getting arrested (as i did)
I was forced to get help but it was up to me to find.
I still get urges but now have the tools to fight these urges.
I now know what triggers my urges and have been clean now for 4 months.
I was arrested for a half gram and the crown attorney was seeking jail time...FOR A HALF GRAM
Soooo not worth the risk
Stop now, get help. The people that truely want the help will seek it and will do well in treatment
My cocaine addiction-Problem
I started doing cocaine as a performer playing guitar and then doing Karaoke at bar for approx 10 years. I would do it sporadically at guitar playing shows or karaoke shows as it would help me stay alert and awake during shows almost seemingly creating a "good show" due to my alertness and talking.. I don't know, but I began suffering from seizures in 2008. The seizures I had resulted after a time when I believe I bagan drinking beer (alcohol) again and got pretty messed up by having these seizures about the same time I started drinking...so I thought - and that's why I'm researching this topic....cocaine and the brain.....At first I thought that alcohol had everything to do with my seizures....But, I really do believe that the cocaine I did...which was regular at intervals...maybe 10 continuous days out of 30 days I would take it....but when I took it...I would take alot of it.....snorting whatever I could at times...between the cocaine rush.,,,,My seizures included my loss of short-term memory also...in fact, I did not even know what I had done for about 1-2 months! I even had a Karaoke gig, which I did pay-but was told that i was fired from the bar were i worked......so, my life at that times was insanity...to say the least.....well, i had a motor cycle accident in aug 2008 that put me into a 3 month coma.....almost died.....and now i live with tbi! for the rest of my life! so, was it worth the cocaine effect i got from snorting the stuff? Heck no!!!!So, my sporadic-prolonged usage of it may have caused my brain deficits.....is there scientific proof of the brain-neuron/cell damage and loss? if so where can I find it online?
Just a few words of truth
i'm 42 yrs old man and have been addicted to cocaine for 15 yrs+ at expense of my family.
Must of spent over 75% of my lifes earnings on it.
Things have fell apart around me, living a pretence to others, that things are normal, while really living in deplorable conditions.
Should of spent, that 75% of my life times earnings, on my children and enjoyed lifes natural highs and rushes, that millions of years of existence has blessed us with.
Its now time to change its never too late education is the key.
We have a tool available at our disposal, that previous generation had not.
The internet ... sites like this.
Use them to your greater benefit and free youself from your addictions as i'm no doubtly gonna do.
i want to STOP
All the info I've read touched me.I'm a31yr old wife&mother of4.i never used a drug in my life until january2007.like many other users the first time i did coke i LOVED it,oh yea my husband gave me my1st bump.turns out he has been using since he was15&i never knew..an when it came out i told him i'd rather him do it@home with me(not realizing thr effects it would have on me)i don't like the way it makes me feel anymore. Its almost like i can feel my brain sweeling cuz when i get too high all i feel is pressure in my head. I have uncontrolled movements..like twichin or tremors.an my nose i just gone.i was bipolar before i started doin coke,an i dint feel smart anymore.I'm forgetful all the time.it doesn't seem to affect my husband at all.i be so high i feel like I'm about2die rite at that moment as if my brain about to explode.i realize i only feel those effects if i try to do more tgan2.5grams..having said all that,i still do bumps every time he passes it to me.God give me the strength to help me stop.i haven't moved up2coppin my own,si basically the only time i get hgh is when my husband comes home wut some.so we do3grams a week someone please tell me is that alit?dam i beed help!
i want to stop
I know what you mean... I use to have girlfriends and we did it together, then sex was crazy, but fun at time,... I went through alot of money... I borrowed yet its been 6+yrs. I do maybe 3 times a week but when i do... I do about 3-4grams in spurts overnight... Then i need more.. I already have anxiety disorders and was bpolar no need to sleep when i do... but when coming downm its depressing... Also this has been hidden from my entire family. Seems like something is up to them i think.. But they dont know... It all started i use to buy big stuff 8balls, 16ths, quarter oz's... my friends got paid they came paid me money... So it paid for itself in begining... Now as time went on I became a loner a closet case. In beggining i use to suck through my mouth to keep numb.. But that first bump i mean bump like a rope.. I loved it. Sex was alsome... I dont like paraanoid feeling but sometimes I actually start to fall asleep like opposite affect, like if i took a bump, id lay o couch.. fall out like a light... my buddy said chris i put 2 more up. i wake up take it get that great drip and talkitive happy feeling. WHEN THE COKE RAN OUT, I COULDNT DEAL WITH IT... IS THERE SOME FREE HELP OUT THERE IM IN USA/ PHILA PA area... Because i want to quit im ready i need my life back... And wanna love my family again normal.. I changed i look in mirror and know i changed for the worse, but i go back for more....??? See i wanna help myself but sont wanna tell family about the addiction. please email me any sources thqanks alot sincerely
chris
reply for want to stop!
You have got to stop yourself now! If you don't, you may end up like me with traumatic brain injury and be disabled th rest of your life....and once that happens.....you won't have any more choices.....like me....I used to be a pretty-good musician....played guitar pretty good, and fast...and I could sing too....now I can't do either good at all....my problems are in my comment I left earlier on this site...read it when it comes out....Not a lie also.....Keep on doing the stuff...you may wake up one day like I did...out of a 3 month coma! and intense brain damage! I still have terrible short-term memory.....and lost about 15 years of long-term memory from neuron-cell damage/loss...."is this want you want to be too?" well, keep on snorting those "bumps" as we call them....do you have children? well I know they probably love you very much....you are going to put them thru emotional suffering from loosing their mother....or who she was before she became "brain-dead." oh, and i'm sure you'll hear all your coke-friends tell you-it's okay....only some people get hurt sometimes from coke....mostly if they shoot it up....that crap! it kills brain cells after prolonged usage....gauranteed....wanna prove that right? Keep on doing your bumps! You'lll find out! so, quit the snorting NOW!!!!okay? or live a life of having an almost "dead brain" see how you like that.....
coke is death
I've been a addict for over 8 years. The first 3 years it was fun and I felt like this would never affect me phisically or mentally. Now I'm 27 years old, my nose is damaged,I'm always tired, sad afraid of any social situation,very deppresed. DON'T EVEN TRY. But I have great parents,brother and sisters and acouple of people I would consider friends and they give a lot of support. I don't want to let them down so I quit couple of weeks ago and hope for the best... I know god will help me
You better stop why you still got the chance.
The first time I tried it was about a year ago now. I was at a friends going away party for the military, and I had been offered coke before then but was to nervous and scared to do it. I had been smokin weed for about 3 years before the first coke use. I dont really think weed is a gate way drug in the sense that you want another high. The high that you get from weed is uncomparable to any other drug,even pain pills. But I do think we is a gate way drug in the since that it takes you one foot in the door with the drug world and drug use. But my first time, the feeling was unexplainible. LIke everybody says, its a verry good and pleasurable feeling. But I promise that the first high you get from cocaine and you like it, that is the beginning of the hill. And its straight down. I didnt do it for a couple of months after the first time, beacuse I got it threw a friend. But when I met my first connection which was only a few miles from my house, that was the moment my life went hay wire. I used every few weeks, then every week. then every few days, and now after almost one year, I have gone on two week use. Cocaine was made in the palm of the devils hands. It will set the bait, and once you take the bait and like it, youre in for at first, what seems to be good ride, but at the blink of an eye, your comedowns are so nerve racking that you feel like somebody is watching and listening to your every move. And for me when I would comedown i would hate coke soo much I would swear to myself that I was done with it. But beacuse of the addiction after I camedown and got some sleep, I wanted and went and got more just like before. Im still struggling now, but I have noticed that my chest hurts when I use now. I used to somewhat enjoy the use of it even a few months ago, but its now at the stage where maybe the first line and drain, makes me somewhat feel good, but after that, it sucks. But because of addiction you keep doing it, and telling yourself the next line will be better. PLease just stay the hell away from it. Look at charlie sheen
Im only 14 years old... with
Im only 14 years old...
with a normal home, im still all alone
cocaine gave me a crave.. took my soul to the grave and left me here to wait.
is 8o bucks a gram really worth the after pain that still stands.
I guess its all i know
pot was gold
coke was as beautiful as snow
now it melted and turned to brown
heroine and crack turned around
stabbed me in the back
now all I have is regret
Huh
80 bucks a gram u got ripped. I pay 40 for the fire
Death by cocaine
My son died last summer from cocaine addiction. He blew his head off with a shotgun. I found him. He was my first child and only son. He was 33. There is nothing I can say to you to make you stop doing cocaine or other drugs. But just know, that when you die from them or suicide, or if you are mentally incapacitated from doing them, your family who loves you will have to live on and endure the pain of losing you to drugs, for the rest of their lives. It's one thing to kill yourself, but another to inflict that kind of grief and pain on so many others...
I am dreadfully sorry for
I am dreadfully sorry for your lost. I pray that you will find some peace and that your son is now wrap in the arms of the true God, Jesus. I ask everyone out there to say a prayer, rather if they DONT believe orDONT feel like it, for one week three times a day. They must kneel, it doesn't matter where and women must cover there heads as they pray. Starting, 11-22-11. Cocaine, crack, refers, and cigarettes addicts. PRAY LIKE YOU NEVER DONE BEFORE. DONT GIVE UP.
I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR
I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR SON....AND I KNOW YOU MISS HIM TERRIBLY, BUT YOU CAN REST ASSURRED, HE IS IN A BETTER PLACE...WHERE NOTHING CAN HURT HIM ANYMORE....I PRAY FOR HIM, AND FOR YOU TO FIND CONTINUED STRENGTH IN LIFE....I HAD A SISTER KILLER HERSELF WITH A HANDGUN SHE WAS USING TO BE A POLICE OFFICER. SHE SHOT HERSELF, BECAUSE A WOMAN SHE WAS INVOLVED WITH (SHE WAS LESBIAN) LEFT HER....SHE COULD NOT TAKE THE SEPARATION AND SO KILLED HERSELF ONE NIGHT...I WAS STATIONED IN GERMANY IN THE ARMY WHEN I GOT THE CALL....BUT I KNOW SHE IS IN A QUIET-PEACEFUL PLACE-AND YOUR SPIRIT LIES CLOSELY TO HIM ALSO....HE DID NOT DO IT TO HURT YOU....HIS ADDICTION TO COCAINE BECAME HIS HELL IN A PLACE WHERE LIFE CAN GET SO HURTFUL SOMETIMES.....HE IS IN PEACE.....WHERE HE WILL BE WITH YOU ONE DAY....AS I KNOW I WILL BE WITH MY SISTER ALSO. OUR SPIRITS BECOME A "ONE" IN OUR SPIRITUAL LIFE....THE LIFE AFTER THIS LIFE IN THE "FLESH"....THE FLESH BEING THE HUMAN-FORM WHICH WE EACH LIVE IN THIS EARTH....I PRAY FOR HIM AND YOU.....GOD IS WITH YOU AND HIM (AND ME TOO!).
Living and loving among coke.
I personally tried coke when I was 18. I worked at the bar and briefly dated a coke dealer. It was an interesting experience but I had bigger ambitions and I stopped and moved on with my life. I never returned back to thoughts about trying any drugs. Almost ten years later I started dating e a coworker who had drug problems. He is a nice guy. He has a good heart. However coke and other drugs that he have used through out his life (for about 14 years) have really affected his mental health. He is bipolar. He admits to that. However he does not admit that it is from drug abuse. He blames it on genes because his mom was a heroin user prior or during her pregnancy. He have used any imaginable drug out there except for heroin (he is scared of it, especially because him mom was an addict). I dated him for almost a year. It was really hard. He also smokes weed daily. He did not mind me smoking on occasion. However he would never want to do coke with me. He was telling me that I was too pure and he wants to keep me that way. Eventually we broke up but because of his mental irregularity and altered feelings he keeps calling me back. If I meet him he is happy and emotional. However if I show up without warning he freaks out and goes crazy. He does not want me to see him with other women or on drugs. I've tried to help him so many times and he have tried to stop abusing drugs so many times but every time he fails because he gets depressed and lonely. Then he goes out gets drunk and finds a bad company and bad girls that are ready to party. If you tried it and you liked it don't do it again... Don't make it in to a habit. If you haven't tried it don't go that rout... It's not worth it. Drugs really mess up your thinking, emotions and feelings... It's hard to get away from drugs once you are in...
haha
seriously the drug isn't anything like some of these comments have said.. maybe if you have grown up around nothing exciting, you will find that cocaine is the best thing thats ever happened to you.. i however have been snorting at least a gram a day or more for two months now and the only problem i have is my fucken nose hurts at the end of the night. if you really find it that hard to go a day without it then you are a fucken weak minded piece of shit who deserves to be addicted to it. i've recently quit smoking weed because i realised that i had been stoned for 3 years straight. i'm 17 and i see my friends smoking everyday and feel sorry for them. if you really want to quit (anything), it takes 3 days and the cravings go away, then you feel your old self start to come back, and all it takes is you saying to yourself "ahh actually thats right i was coked for two months straight, i think i can go sober for a week" whatever the drug may be, if you cant ditch it, for a week at least.. who do you think you are? your a fucken nobody.
Sorry- You say a gram and a
Sorry- You say a gram and a half a day and the only side affects are that your nose hurts? If i was you i would ask for a refund as it sounds like someones been selling you something that "isn't coke" and I'm sure that will be messing around with your insides. Just because you cant see/feel the side affects dont assume you are not having any.
Every one is different. some people CAN take coke and not get hooked on it, some people can take it or leave it. others can get hooked after one/2 goes and others might have been doing it for years thinking "they dont have a problem". notice the doing it for years? prob a sign it is a problem.
Some people may do a line and be buzzing and feeling great- someone else may take their own life. why take the risk? why do we risk our precious lives? I dont know and I cant answer that. I'm one of the people that can seem to take it or leave it. I've never craved it. but one thing i do know is life is to precious to waste it on this. get another natural high that wont risk your life, or affect your moods or your friends and family.
perhaps if everytme we went to do a line and there was a post it next to it saying " this could be the last thing you will look at" we would think again.
to anyone that has lost anyone from drugs i send you my heartfelt condolences.
Woh woh woh. Take there own
Woh woh woh. Take there own life from a line. Ignorance is bliss.... Remember that. Are you one of the people telling our kids weed will kill you. Coke isnt really a problem in moderation. As they say in the 20s when it was legal a small few would start a habbit that effected there life. I wish the coca plant was legal.... Hopefully soon it will be. It has so many health benifits and people knock it down cause you can derive a stimulant from it. Who cares. It isnt the end of the world. I wanna put my 40 hrs in, and dont worry my yearly net is way higher than your gross, sit back have a few beers and blow a line, who cares. And if u think about it the alchahol impairing my judgment and reaction times while the cocains making me more alert. Whats worse for you
I;m nineteen and have been
I;m nineteen and have been doing drugs for three years. For me it started with pot which was pleasnt until i started doing more and more until i was fried everyday. Mainly just killed motivation. I moved on to cocaine, and stayed on it a full year. I snorted probably four grand worth in a matter of a few months and then began shooting it. i then shot roxies for awile and tried many diffirent drugs. Shrooms, 2ci,2bc, lsa, meth, any opiate besides herione, embalming fluid, crack, ecatasy, bath salt, daylights molly (pure mdma). I shot up until four months ago, from my experience there are three diffirent kinds of shooters. One who tried it, hated it and will never do it again, the next one tries it, loves it and will forever do his drugs in that manner, or me who tried it liked it but all in all it was just another method. Cocaine has been the worst and only drug i used for a prolonged time. The side effects are easy at first but they eventually become more intense and harder to cop with. I will say that my brain has been damaged, i am a borderline socio-path and was that was not the case before hard drugs. Which is horrible becasue they are the only thing that makes me feel emotion anymore. Drugs have wrecked my life so far. If you ever start or wanna start think about this, you do the drug and hate yourslef for doing it, then you detox, shit and puke, dissapoint the people you love, wait all day to deal with some mean big aggerssive peace of shit, and damage your mind and body even with small use. People..... We spend our money to destroy everything around us including ourselves. If anyone can tell me one good reason to do drugs please by all f'n means speak up, but chances are, your just going to be justifying your addiction. Take it from a professional junkie, quit, by any means you can. Im joing the army and have been clean for two weeks off everything. God help me to correct myself.
Seriously lol
Who do you think you are?!? You go around and feel sorry for the people smoking grass when your sitting there putting "chemicals" right up into your nose for more than two months straight. You are not in the position to pass judgement on anyone. I think you need to take a look in the mirror pal and realize you shouldn't hand out criticsm of any other human being when you yourself have issues, just like everyone else. How were you blessed to be so almighty that you can go around saying people "deserve" to be addicted and they are "fucken nobodies"? Read a book or do some online research and tell me what you find out about it only taking "3 days" to come clean and return to normal. On that note, i'm not even sure why I am replying to your incredibily stupid post but it seems to my that you have a very closed mind and you should look into talking to someone about your situation.
Um..
You say you snort at least a gram a day or more...and say people are weak minded when they're hooked on it. So i guess you're weak minded there. And good lord your grammar is painful to read.
Ignorance is bliss
Then I'd say you're getting some low grade powder, and I'd also say that you haven't really experienced a solid coke high as a result. Here's a little tip for you kid, if it tastes like baking soda...it likely is... LoL.
The post I made earlier was regarding my personal experience with 'caine. I really don't care if you learn from my mistake or not. Hopefully someone else will.
Use 'caine if you want to, but don't waste my time again with your ignorant reply.
The all mighty powder.
I've been using coke for nearly 10 years straight since I was 17 at about 2-3 grams per day. From my experience I can say that the first few years were the best of my life. The high of 'caine is amazing and gives you unbelievable feelings that are seriously indescribable unless you try it.
After that it's all downhill. You try to get that same high evertime and it begins to be a chore and a routine more than anything. So you end up using more and more at work, at home, with friends, and everywhere else. Trust me there's nothing good at the end of the road. Before you know it, you look older, you feel depressed, your body starts to complain, your mind isn't sharp anymore and life begins to really suck.
I'm not preaching crap to anyone, try it and use it if you want and you'll experience some kick-ass times. But in the end the powder will win and eat you up inside and out. It doesn't matter who you are.
I have a masters degree, I used to work out daily and you wouldn't recognize the changes it can do mentally and physically until the changes creep up on you, and then bam you realize it's time to quit.
I've stopped using daily and now use once monthly. Baby steps I guess... but I will kick its ass before it kicks mine.
I'm 48 and am a business woman
I'm 48 and am a business woman and very respected in my community. And yet I have this dirty little secret! :(
I feel really bad because I had been clean for about 10 years and thought I could handle it. Because I was older and smarter, Well guess what I might be older but certainly not smarter. And my use has gotten worse. Sometimes I'll quit for a couple weeks and it calls my name. I don't remember powder ever being so powerful. But here I am still trying to kick the habit once again all these years later. I'm 48 and have been using again since about 05 and swore at the beginning of this year I was done. Here it is almost July and I'm still struggling the worst part about it is this time I took my beautiful 30 year niece with me. I told her the same thing you said baby steps. We are starting to make bets and deals with a payoff. We use together 2 to 3 times a week we only split a 50 in most cases. We both want to stop desperately before its too late! Just thought I would share our story as I'm sure your not alone, I plan on kicking its ass as well and yes she's coming with me! ;)
STOP!! NOW!
I am a smoking hot girl in my 20s, come from freaking rich family, I myself am a millionaire, can do anything I want whenever. Was always very successful and intelligent, went to the best colleges... best jobs... blah blah. Started doing IV coke for a few months in 2004. It screwed up my brain so bad I have SEVERE depression, mood swings, nothing, NOTHING makes me happy, I binge eat, can't keep a relationship, can't hold a job. My life has been ruined. I stopped doing the coke 7 years ago when my parents found out and helped me stop. But the damage it did to my brain was so severe no one can help me now. Doctors have me on tons of meds but I still end up in the psych hospitals about twice a year for suicide attempts or horrible depression. My life will never be the same. I beg you to realize drugs DO fry your brain. Plus I don't think I am as smart anymore. I FEEL dumb, like things are harder for me. I used to be a genius. Just something to think about. Putting it out there to help at least one person.
To smoking-hot
Ditto there, Ive just crossed into my thirties, I've had a good life, but... I can't shake this habit. 2-3weeks a month I will get through about a quarter a week. After every session I despise myself and pray for the strength to not go back. It's spiralled over the last 5 years and now like you say I feel more and more stupid. I can still do the things I used to be able to but only just and it's a case of motivating the right brain cells. The really sad thing is that no-one ever reads these blogs/advice pages until it's too late. A teenager can prepare for sex for the first time as it's inevitable through natural desires. But no-one actively goes out to destroy their mind and body by researching first. I'm sorry to hear that you are on meds now. God knows what's down the road for me
STOP!! NOW!
What a heartbreaking story this was, makes want to weep! But all is not lost, you can still have a good life and that life could be spent helping others. Also, I would encourage you to seek after God, the bible says that if you seek him with all your heart he will come to you. I pray that this will happen to you and that you would become a "new" person and that you would come to know Jesus Christ as your personal saviour. I am so touched by what I just read that I am weeping. Love in the name of Jesus Christ, King of Kings and Lord of Lord!!! Amen!
Never knew until I thought about it and did research
It was a Friday night .I was sitting at the computer and I heard alot of people outside .I didn't have any friends around my neighborhood mainly because I'm new around town.So I decided to go outside and talk and maybe meet some new friends to hang with for the moment. I smoke weed so I ask them did they have any(but I dont smoke weed often).One of my friends I wasn't too sure with ,said he had some weed ,he said "follow me " so I did.
I went in the house with him and he had some weed. But when his friend who was a girl walked in , she notice that my friend had something in his nose and she tried to clear it for him(it was coke).He ask me did I do any other drug besides weed such as coke and I told him "NO".I'm not sure if he knew if he still had some coke on his hand before touching the weed,but after smoking the weed .I decided to leave .
Once I got home I noticed when I swallowed some juice I had pored,it seemed as if I had something in my noise . As time goes by , I felt some type of way ,I stood up and went in the bathroom, I felt so horrable .Its like I never felt this way off of weed a day in my life. So I was looking at myself in the mirror and desided to talk and negotiate with myself if I should tell my friends back home the story ,because I felt like such a coke head and it wasn't even a large substance of it .(My friends doesn't do coke and neither do I, thats why I was alittle wierd about telling them the situation ).
I then went back on the computer as if nothing had happened feeling alittle more happy and started to feel like the high went down and felt like I smoked weed. (I DONT KNOW IF COKE WAS INVOLVED ,MAYBE A LITTLE GOT ON THE WEED FROM WHEN HE DID THE COKE EARLIER BEFORE I GOT THERE , BUT IT WAS THE WORST FEELING EVER IN MY LIFE).
I continue to hang with my friends but they knew I didn't do any other drug other then weed. They had some weed I smoked with them again and it actually felt like I smoked weed. I FELT SOME TYPE OF WAY SO I DESIDED TO do some research about coke.That explain why I am on this website today.My emotional behavior seem like the cokehead stories on this website. And out of the research that I've done ,maybe there was a mixture of drugs that day .I WOULD NOT WANT TO EVER DO COKE IN MY LIFE, IT MAYBE GREAT FOR OTHER PEOPLE , BUT ITS NOT A GREAT FEELING TO ME ,I GUESS THAT DRUG IS NOT FOR ME AND I DONT WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THAT DRUG AGAIN.(Haven't smoked weed since , I just been having mixed feelings,maybe I shouldn't do that drug either.)
Fibromyalgia
I was diagnosed with fibro 5 years after i quit a 4 year binge. studies need to be done on this subject. i currently take 9 medications most for pain one for bi-polar, and two for sleep. wanted to share this
vicodin anyone?
vicodin anyone?
non coke user
Please, listen to the words of someone does not do drugs but eventually it turned out that she did become a victim of these.
I lost my fiance because of the drug use. He is hooked on coke. After the use became heavy, he cheated on me,lied to me,confused me, he broke my heart...I ended up attending the psychotherapy sessions since I had a great difficulty in dealing with the way things went on. I fell into a depression which has been lasting for few months already.
Look at Us, coke users, look what you are doing to the loving you ones. It's a sad, tragic and even mean somehow what you decide to do. It's an immoral choice, driven by very primitive urges.
I wish a lot of success to everybody who is fighting or wants to fight the addiction.
And to the ones whose loved ones are addicted, a lot of strenght in moving on with their lives. Forgive them their mistakes. It's always a first step in healing our wounded souls and hearts...
My partner of 11 years,
My partner of 11 years, became an ex who hounded me for 22 months and gave coke out to people who couldn't handle it, 2 attempted suicide, one failed, one succeeded. He then took his own life. I dont think he could live with the crushing guilt. He went 'cold-turkey' for 10 days. He didn't stand a chance. It was only after he died that I found out he had been using cocaine for 2 years.........he was an addict, highly likely using it every day. I too ended up attending psychotherapy sessions, apparently that's quite normal for the significant other of a coke addict. He projected all his problems onto me. I became his scape-goat.
Our son and my older 4 children to whom he was step-dad for 11 years, have to live with this and have obliterated most of their happy childhood from their memories. Christmas is impossible. Living here is impossible.
The pain of loss and betrayal is impossible to bear.
The inquest put his depression down to our relationship.
So who is paying for his mistakes? Me?, my children?
Why does no-one understand the ravages of cocaine?
I know its not my fault. I have always hated drugs. But I will spend the rest of my life picking up the pieces.
Right...none realizes what
Right...none realizes what does it do to the people involved. We also suffer, we blame ourselves, we dont sleep at night, we worry, its sometimes impossible to move on.
where are you?
where are you?
It's such a universal problem
It's such a universal problem that could happen to everyone. It doesnt matter where I am.
First time i sniff coke was
First time i sniff coke was just a joke, fun... It was me an my flat mate and we just wanted to see how it feels, so I had 3 lines but i didn't feel anything apart from a strage taste.
Second time i was with my friend and few more guys on a sunday, we started drinking wisky and sniffing coke from about 9pm till 9am, that's when i started feeling strage, I was happy for no reason, I couldn't stop talking, I had so much energy, i was feeling so high, I didn't what that night to ever finish. I phone sick at work and we all try to go to sleep about 9am, but i couldn't, I started to feel guilty for not keeping up with my responsabilities, i had the though that my boss will fire me... so i took a taxi i went home pick up my car and go to work. By the time i got to the office, i was all shaking, sweating and i started to have uncotroled movements of my head and biting my lips. My boss sent me home.. Even now i feel so luck and so happy that i got home safe without having a car accident. I went to sleep and i woke up in the evening feeling much better.
Third time i didn't want to touch not even to see coke as i was scared, so i decide just to have some drinks, but becouse everyone around me was doing it i couldn't resiste after few drinks.
This was happening about three or four times a week. In the first two months it was fun as i didn't overdo it... but after we started to take more, my friend was ok all the time, but she use to tell me that my face changes when I sniff and I have uncontoled movements, but I never felt that.. She stop me several times from overdo it. After a while I didn't enjoy it no more as i was feeling depressed, and everytime i was happy and high i started to have moments when i was saying to myself "what are you doing? this is not right? what are you happy for? there is no reason to be happy?" i started to hate myself for that, but becouse of the people around me and my "friends" i was always corrupted.
The last time i took cocaine, me and my friend was going to have dinner at my "boyfriend's" house who was living alone. After dinner we decided to have some drinks, and after we got drunk we started to sniff, i had to call sick at work as we was still up at 8am.. by been so high and not thinking anymore.. very embarrassing things happen..
I couldn't fall asleep so i decided to drive back home, i scratch my car, i couldn't reverse, i was so deperssed, i was feeling so shamefull of what happend, but strage... my "friend" was ok, i couldn't look in her eyes. So I got home, she went to sleep... i went to pack my staff and i moved out.
Since then i decide i would never do that again. I avoid all the people that do that in special when i go out, and now i'm more careful when i choose my friends. Are 4 months since i didn't take cocaine, I feel much better .. but even now sometimes i have moments when i get very depressed and i'm sure is from that as before i use to be the most happiest person.
I'm not a strong person, that's why i will keep away from this people, i won't try to make them understand is not good because they may corrupe me. And words never made me understand what i'm doing untill i felt it.
Thanks for reading.
My Opinion
Well it seems that there is a variety of opinions as well as a large divide between the people who have seen the effects of cocaine on loved ones and those who are most likely driving those people crazy. Cocaine is a powerful tool. Cocaine as stated in previous comments chemically affects the brain in a way that, although professionals have studied, its true essence lies in the soul of the user. I have been using it for almost ten years now and it has shown me pain and anguish like I would never wish on anyone. I understand that this is something that I must experience in order to truly understand the purpose of being alive. YES these could be construed as the ramblings of a man in the throes of cocaines false confidence. Ive seen what people write in this state of mind. Its easy to dismiss. What some do not realize, is that this is a plant that has existed for as long as man has, and true to nature it holds secrets to the human brain which is infinitely more powerful then the shell of our mortal selves.
Im sorry if my thoughts have not been fleshed out as I would like them to be. I definetly blame the drug and drink abuse. I know that if you get caught in its grasp it can be a hellish nightmare either if you can't buy more. Or on the other side, you cant stop doing it because you have all this cash and once you start money loses its value in comparison to the experience you gain. What is that worth? Your life? Well what is your life worth? Are you here just to feed the machine that somehow doesnt represent any of the qualities that you believe are inherent to humans? One of the most powerful traits that we have is the abilty to speak. Cocaine connects everything that you would ever want to say and makes it flow like a swift current propelling thoughts and emotions towards an unknown destination. For that time it seem as though the reason for being alive is to be, well, alive. Its the most beautiful and horrible item Ive ever chosen to ingest[a fast food diet would probably destroy your soul just as much]. So if you feel up for the task and feel that you are mentally prepared. By all means, have at 'er. Just know that when you get "addicted" which happens to all of us in some shape or form[repeating actions]. Realize that this is completely under your power and this is the consequence of your descion. Im mad that I couldnt really get a truely lucid and pure description of the drug but I think what we all need is to loosen up a bit.
Ugh,
Reply to "my opinion" and "soulmate"
I see what you're saying in that it's a naturally occurring substance, and maybe it shouldn't even be looked down upon any more than cigarettes and alcohol. Let me just preface by saying that our brain doesn't actually have naturally occurring receptors for cocaine or its chemicals - the only endogenous receptors we do have are for benzos (basically, anti-anxiety meds.) Cocaine is like an artificial sweetener that eventually eats away at your brain like sugar would do to your teeth. Except you can't exactly go to a neurosurgeon and get those cavities filled.
Anyways, I get your opinion. However, if you're going to rationalize it like that, saying cocaine is a way to "propel thoughts and emotions," if you're going to use it to enhance "the qualities that you believe are inherent to humans," what exactly are you saying about the worth of your life? From reading the posts on this forum and looking at the literature about cocaine's effects on health, especially long term health, it seems like some fraction of your life is a state of euphoric bliss beyond what is humanely possible. Maybe it is the ultimate way to enhance your youth, feel like a god; I can't deny that this isn't a beguiling temptation. But you are basically condensing your life into maybe 5-10 good years, and then you are reduced to a shell of a human, floundering for more of the drug, a slave to it. I volunteered at a crisis hotline and listened to countless stories of peoples' experiences with drugs, and now all they want is to "get better," but sadly there's a dearth of resources. These people thought it might be fun, maybe they thought their life had no hope for benefiting from endogenous pleasures, who ignored enjoying the beauty in the faces of their children, or in nature, or nice weather, or in setting goals and working towards them.
You say that using this drug is what it means to truly enjoy the joys of being alive? It's more powerful than the shell of our mortal selves? After cocaine has its way with you, you basically succumb to an emptiness beyond which all hope for recovery is gone. You will eventually see what it truly means to be a shell of a mortal. To me, drug use represents the fear that you cannot attain adequate pleasure from living life as it is meant to be lived. None of us should feel such a worthless curiosity or give in to this short lived temptation. You have your whole lifetime to discover beauty and magic and explore the mysteries of this world. Don't sell yourself for any less just because you want to experience some sort of shortcut to happiness, because this kind of happiness will only end in regret. Why would you want such an end?
think i found my soulmate
this is in direct response to the last post entitled "my opinion" by tom.
literally every sentence from beginning to start had me sitting at the edge of chair in excitement screaming YES! YES! YES!. the way you chose to describe it, with respect to the words you chose is not how i would have said it myself. however, the underlying meaning, understanding, sense of logic or reasoning, that you describe as being a result of using the drug is exactly the way i feel. not necessarily saying that one who has never used can never understand what you say, except that one who has never used cannot truly feel what you say. i am going to stop as i havent used in a week and a half, have a lot of other shit on my mind right now and have trouble expressing exactly what i feel is my connection is with you right now that i dont feel with anyone else really. my email address i used to post this reply i may not be able to access but if you post a reply on this page again with your email i will create a new email and we can get in touch, as i have bookmarked this page and will be checking as often as i can in the hopes that you reply. i feel we can have some discussions that would truly be beyond words.
Drug Abuse
They Just want to feel what the world won't let them.
They want to die.Escape From the pain and confusion of this world.
These are not the automatons of this world, these are people who can't stand it.This superficial life that has been created around them does not work.It Does not promote real health but profit, does not promote fairness but greediness,not love but confusion.
Read a few books see if you can find an answer; or will you just fall to the same pool of potential inquiries of questions unanswered. Coming full circle to being just as lost as you were in the first place.
Good luck.... Jesus Christ is the one i look to... He's with me no matter what goes down. He is more understanding then any one of us could be.
P.S Finding any truth to anything real has it's risks physical or spiritual; be careful theirs a lot of evil influencing a lot of people out there. Yes I've been using drugs alcohol and cigarettes from the age of 16 and I'm in my 30's now. Looking for something....
COCAINE? IT IS NOT WORTH IT!
So you think that smoking, snorting or freebasing cocaine is cool? Did you know that it changes the brain functions? Did you know you could die from it? Did you know you could have a stroke if you over use this drug, perhaps land up being in a wheelchair for the rest of your life? Did you?
Congratulations to the lady who says that she will not stick around and let her baby be associated with the dad because he uses. That takes guts, and commitment to a child. Well done. The child will not be influenced by a bad role model. If the dad really loves the child, he will clean his act up, and go straight.
Drugs are really dumb, and users are even dumber. Your mert does not use does he? Now why do you think that is? Because he knows the consequences. But he knows you are stupid, because you pay for all his commitments. You pay so he can live the good life. How stupid is that?
There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a sunrise or sunset totally straight, the world is a more beautiful place without the drugs. I should know, I was an addict for many years, and have been clean for 16 years now. How wonderful not to be a slave to something that destroys your and your family's life. How wonderful to be straight.
Deanne
South Africa
After a few few years of
After a few few years of hanging out with cokeheads and having a bit of a habit my self I do think there is just something not quite right about coke and what it does to people. I am sitting here saturday night alone watching dvds and i think its one million times better than being stuck in a room with a load of deluded arm chair rock stars who are so bored with there lifes they have forgot how to live without the help of what I think is basiclly a social steroid for loosers.
nice one
Ok, I loved this email and really made me smile, hope you overcame the habit. It sounds like hell to give it up as your own choice.
I saw a little of evidence of this when ex boyfreind confessed he was a cocaine addict.
It really makes a shy person an extrovert. A silent person a loud mouth and an anxious person seem invinceble and immortal. I thought he was so amazing and smart but you dont know who is talking. Had a good job etc but had a string of failed relationships and I did supsect something was wrong. It is shocking to see the comparison in a person before they take coke and during the high. Theyve become someone they are not and medically addicted to "a feeling that doesnt exist". Worse still though the body really needs it so you can remain stable, anyway. Elton John gave a smiliar reason for taking cocaine. Realised my ex is a real immature coward with significant personality defects that he cant face so hey, cocaine made up for that until...... it wore off!
Best wishes for your future
Coreetta
Make drugs healthy
Here's an idea: why not focus grant money on making street drugs good/healthy for people. Why not focus research on removing the negative chemical properties from drugs. People have always done drugs, will always do drugs, so instead of arresting people and spending money on incarceration, spend the money on chemically engineering drugs to make them healthy while still euphoric.
Cocaine...always there
I'm a 24 yr old girl, and I've been doing cocaine for five years now. I won't preach or judge anyone, because anyone who's kept a big deep dark secret during their lives would understand. It's the secret I carry everywhere, in the bathrooms of every gas station, bookstore, grocery stores, home, etc.
The truth is, even though it's taken and still takes every penny I have, I still love it, want it, need it. I don't have anything else in my life. I lost the love of my life 1 yr ago, and have since then doubled even tripled my usage because the loss is indescribable. I need cocaine to simply get out of bed because the depression from losing my love has and still is crippling. It's the one thing that keeps me functing despite now being a total recluse in my apartment. The only aspiration I have is to not die young and maybe see the love of my life again
Tell a doctor. Maybe try an
Tell a doctor. Maybe try an SNRI such as Effexor. It has helped me greatly and I have stopped using.
my 2 cents
so i used cocaine and it is addictive and it has nothing to do with will power. i am a recovering addict and i am 16 so i have all the drive in the world and i am a functioning addict so im not a slaker or a lazy person. i have an addiction. there is nothing i can do about or any one else. in recovery they say that will power and your higher power are only 5% each. not putting yourself in those situations is what really stops the using. other people cannot just help an addict out because if they do it for someone else whe that person leaves they will use again. and their sobriety isnt based on what they want. when you get sober your not supposed to have a relationship for atleast a year either.
love always the cocaine and alcoholic LeAnne
coccaine
i'm a reformed addict,that still uses occasionally.i dont think its any worse than any other drug.but like any drug too much is detramental.the worst part is how much it costs.it also made me withdraw from life.lost friends.i also experienced massive paranoia.and hallucinations.it filled the bordom of life.4 years went by so fast.what made me slow way down was i felt like i was 80 years old.my body ached.i missed the things that made life great.sports,friends,money and family.
The beauty of it all
i tried cocain and been addicted ever since it rocks.
Some of the comments here are
Some of the comments here are fairly interesting. A few, from both the haters and junkies, were occasionally intense. I don't see much value in most of the comments from the people who have not tried coke. I thought maybe it'd be alright to tell a milder coke story from a 20 year old college student.
Well I started smokin marijuana at the age of 16, but never turned a heavy smoker & binge drinker until I was 18. To cut the story short, I smoked weed and cigarettes almost everyday for 2 years, if not I was sober for a week at most until I tried coke.
I was on vacation, in a city where I had a lot of old friends. I'll never forget the first night. I'd describe it as feeling excited to live, like anything was possible, like every conversation at the party was amazing to be a part of. But of course I fiended for more. I ended up doing a substantial amount with a several different friends for 3 straight nights. 3 more amazing nights. Fortunate for me in terms of addiction I only liked to do it with a lot of alcohol concurrently.
After the fourth day was like waking up from a daze. It was the same day I was supposed to leave this city and go home. Maybe I'm lucky, but instead of fiending, i felt stupid, disappointed, and shameful. I felt like I had woken from a dream, but this dream was shameful and eye opening. I couldn't stop coughing up blood and mucus from all the coke lines, cigarettes, blunts, and alcohol. I felt I wanted to leave this world of addiction, drugs, alcohol, and tobacco forever... even if it meant at such a young age during my college career where I might lose friends or respect from some people for doing so. It's been four months but I still haven't returned to anything else except have an occasional brew. It's a feeling & experience I will never forget, but also hope to never revisit.
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