CCM
290 Interdisc. Gen/Sex
Professors Dalke & Lindgren
18 December 2009
“It’s Okay…” Campaign: Findings
Statement:
It’s OKAY…
…that promiscuous women are labeled as sluts while promiscuous men are labeled as players.
Prompt:
Why do YOU think that promiscuity has such polar connotations for either gender?
Responses:
1. No
2. Sexuality= double standards. What gives me the right as a lesbian to objectify my own gender?
3. Says who? I’ll have you know that nowadays more and more ppl look at “promiscuous” men w/ as much disapproval as they do promiscuous women. Update w/ the times!
3.1. ha ha ha no
4. That’s not true. They’re man whores! =) Omg I would use the same word! =)
5. Because men traditionally go after the women so it seems like men who have sex a lot get what they want while women just let it happen to them.
5.1. Why should we follow tradition?
5.2. Its unfair BULLSHIT!!
6. Because sex has more meaning for women because it can result in pregnancy, where as men can just walkway with no repercussions.
7. I really don’t know why there is this double standard.
______________________________________________________________________________
Statement:
It’s OKAY…
… that I will be considered a slut if I show too much skin.
Prompt:
How much consideration do YOU give to your Friday/Saturday night attire?
Responses:
1. Who’s right is it to determine what “too much skin” is?
2. Do whatever makes you comfortable. You will always be considered SOMETHING to SOMEONE even if you cover up.
2.1. I concur. People need to realize though that their choice of dress however is bound to have some sort of stigma attached and widely believed whether justifiable or not.
____________________________________________________________________________
Statement:
It’s OKAY…
… that BiCo women have a reputation for being easy.
Prompt:
Do YOU make assumptions about entire groups of people?
Responses:
1. Everyone does. If you were honest with yourself you’d see that you do it too.
2. What reputation? As compared to whom?
3. Is it okay that the label only exists in BiCo?
3.1. I thought that was only BMC girls.
3.2. Haverford
4. Only about Bryn Mawr, right?
5. They do? I think that’s only certain individuals…
6. Who said that?
7. So do the men…
______________________________________________________________________________
Statement:
It’s OKAY…
… that the Haverford College cricket team is and always will be a male dominated sport.
Prompt:
Why do YOU think that we don’t have coed varsity teams?
Responses:
1. Seriously? There’s nothing preventing a female cricket team besides a general lack of interest.
2. There’s a “lack of interest” because of sexist norms- girls are not expected from a young age to be interested in sports.
3. Why don’t the Olympics?
4. It’s okay that I think both this idea and prompt below are stupid. Please, next time pick an even less socially detrimental issue such as letting men play in women’s basketball.
5. R there girls who wanna play? Yes? à let ‘em play. No? à then it will be male dominated!
5.1. Don’t be retarded, what people want to do doesn’t form in a vacuum.
6. I don’t understand your question.
7. This also needlessly singles out the cricket team.
8. The girls would just embarrass the guys.
9. Genetics.
______________________________________________________________________________
Statement:
It’s OKAY…
… that female athletic teams aren’t taken seriously in the BiCo.
Prompt:
When was the last time YOU attended/showed support for a female athletic team?
Responses:
1. Why are they even segregated?
1.1. Seriously? Part of this is just genetics.
2. I actually support the women’s bball all the time.
3. Danica Patrick’s 100 point game.
4. I hate girl sports…and I’m a girl
_________________________________________________________________________________
Statement:
It’s OKAY…
…that there’s no such thing as a female player.
Prompt:
Why do YOU think people are threatened by sexually liberated women?
Responses:
1. Because it’s wrong. So is a guy being a player.
2. Because a male “player” is seen as someone who’s been actively trying to get laid, the common perception is that it’s harder for a guy to get several chicks than for a chick to get several guys. Perhaps that’s not true, but it seems to be the case?
2.1. I don’t think it’s about difficult I think that guy are expected to want a bit of sex, and being able to get it is thought of as cool. Girls on the other hand are supposed to be pure.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Statement:
It’s OKAY…
…for strangers to smack my ass.
Prompt:
Why do YOU think so many people tolerate this kind of behavior?
Responses:
1. It’s hard to know what to say, especially with young girls. Some women don’t want to appear prude or they’ve been so deprived of attention that they like the attention.
2. For one, many girls seek out this attention, if you don’t tolerate such behavior then don’t participate in the events and culture that do. No one is going to smack your ass if you’re skating, bowling, watching a movie, hanging out with your non-bro, non-sorostitute friends, etc… I’m not saying all inappropriate sexual behavior is the fault of women, just that in this case putting yourself in a situation where others (note “others” refers to other women who might tolerate it) find ass-smacking appropriate was your choice.
2.1. Everyone should be able to feel safe and respected no matter what events and parties you choose to attend.
2.1.1. Ok so by this logic a neonazi should be respected at a bar-mitzvah.
2.1.2. Yes, but in reality we are limited by who we are. I can’t participate in cultural events demeaning to my gender and be respected at those same events.
2.2. Wow. I’m shocked. You are saying that because guys find it “appropriate” to ass- smack in certain situations, women should “tolerate such behavior?” Wow…
2.2.1. No, I’m saying that because PEOPLE think its appropriate women should be aware and make choices based on reality.
3. But it isn’t
4. I don’t know people who do actually.
5. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that…and if it did happen it would definitely NOT be okay.
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Haverford GO! Board: Comments
Statistics: 606 views by students, 13 posters
12 posts • Page 1 of 1
Posted on Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:46 am
here is an excellent, highly relevant, and fairly depressing [6] article about how a young woman's suicide is framed as a consequence of sexual expression rather than the culture of shaming and misogyny it occurred in:
Hope Witsell was just beginning the journey from child to teen. The middle-school student had a tight-knit group of friends, the requisite poster of “Twilight” heartthrob Robert Pattinson and big plans to become a landscaper when she grew up.
But one impetuous move robbed Hope of her childhood, and eventually, her life. The 13-year-old Florida girl sent a topless photo of herself to a boy in hope of gaining his attention. Instead, she got the attention of her school, as well as the high school nearby.
So, here in the lede we discover that it was the showing of her boobs to a boy that — let’s look at that one more time in full — “robbed Hope of her childhood, and eventually, her life.”
Does she get the blame just once? No, no, let’s go down a few more paragraphs.
But Hope got involved in a dangerous, all-too-typical teen game. In June, at the end of her seventh-grade year at Beth Shields Middle School, she sent a picture of her exposed breasts to a boy she liked. It’s an act that is becoming more and more commonplace among teens (a poll recently showed some 20 percent of teens admitting they’ve sent nude pictures of themselves over cell phones).
She got INVOLVED in a DANGEROUS GAME. She gave a boy a picture of her boobs, you see. And that was the dangerous act.
Absolutely worth reading.
Posted on Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:14 pm
Thank you for posting this.
HC '11
Posted on Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:30 pm
damn.
bump.
Location: Lunt
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 5:50 pm
bump
HC '11
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:00 pm
Yeah, bump! What do people think about them?
HC '11
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:09 pm
like
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:16 pm
I don't get the one that says Bi-Co women have a reputation for being easy.
HC '10
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:33 pm
no one says that about bryn mawr women?
HC '11
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:01 pm
______ wrote:
I don't get the one that says Bi-Co women have a reputation for being easy.
It kind of bombed, but there was an ACB thread (shocker) about bmc girls vs havergirls.
"havergirls are hotter.
bryn mawr girls are easier.
end of story."
Not totally conclusive evidence, but something.
HC '11
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:35 pm
maybe we could have a poll on the go boards?
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:40 pm
_______ wrote:
no one says that about bryn mawr women?
No, no one says that about "Bi-Co women"
HC '10
Posted on Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:46 pm
On various occasions I've heard of Bi-Co women being referred to as easy.
HC '11
Posted on Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:10 pm
Here are the findings from my "It's Okay..." campaign. This project is part of a final paper that I am writing for my junior seminar: "Interdisciplinary Perspectives on Gender and Sexuality."
Enjoy,
Cristina C. Morais, HC'11
*Responses to my posters were included at this point in the discussion…
Posted on Tue Dec 15, 2009 7:06 pm
2.1. Everyone should be able to feel safe and respected no matter what events and parties you choose to attend.
2.1.1. Ok so by this logic a neonazi should be respected at a bar-mitzvah.
Is there something about anonymous feedback that just begs people to break out the Hitler or what
whats context precious
Why do YOU think people are threatened by sexually liberated women?
Responses:
1. Because it’s wrong. So is a guy being a player.
someone was unpopular in high school. Pro tip: shaming women AND men* is not a step in the right direction, jackass.
*and it's pretty weird to act as if "sexually liberated women" and "players" are equivalent, I mean what the fuck
2. Sexuality= double standards. What gives me the right as a lesbian to objectify my own gender?
this one's a lil confusing
ummm you have the right as an intelligent concept-forming creature with visual organs, but should exercise that right responsibly?
_________________________________________________________________________
Haverford Anonymous Boards: Comments
Pink posters?
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 04:04 PM | Last Reply 12/15/2009 02:51 PM
Does anybody know what's up with the pink posters around campus?
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 05:17 PM
people are doing a feminism
im a fan
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 07:37 PM
hell yea!
I especially like the poster about the cricket team...where are the women on the team??
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 07:47 PM
I support the message of most of them, but the one about bi-co women having a reputation for being slutty seemed odd. I was unaware of that reputation (or at least it being more true at haveford than any other college), so it's effect on me was that it was STARTING a reputation.
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 07:48 PM
I support the message of most of them, but the one abou...
its* sorry.
-3
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 07:48 PM
I disagree completely. Haverford women are consistently being referred to as "sluts" or "easy".
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 07:56 PM
I disagree completely. Haverford women are consistentl...
the guys are just as easy...
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 08:12 PM
hell yea! I especially like the poster about the cr...
women know better than to play cricket ;)
Posted by anonymous 12/13/2009 08:46 PM
I disagree completely. Haverford women are consistentl...
wasn't there just a thread called "haverford girls prude?" i think it's up for debate at least
Posted by anonymous 12/14/2009 11:04 PM
Here's a sad fact. One of the posters had the text somewhat equivalent to "Do you objectify large groups of people like that?" When I read that I had the sudden urge to write below that the following phrase:
"E'ryday".
I am a terrible, terrible, human being.
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 02:51 PM
“It’s Okay...” Campaign: Findings!!!!
*Responses to my posters were included at this point in the discussion…
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 03:24 PM
"
Why do YOU think people are threatened by sexually liberated women?
Responses:
1. Because it’s wrong. So is a guy being a player. "
loollll fuck that person
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 03:30 PM
" Why do YOU think people are threatened by s...
can't fuck that person. he/she is actually capable of exercising sexual restraint, unlike a good number of people here.
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 03:44 PM
can't fuck that person. he/she is actually capable of ...
oh cool more slut-shaming from some random internet prude
I'm sure you have perfect insight into what that person was saying when they said a sexually-liberated woman was "wrong" and aren't projecting your own small view of the world at allllll
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 03:45 PM
because nothing says "exercise sexual restraint" like "sexually-liberated women are wrong"
that is the very picture of a clear interpretation (dumbass)
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 03:45 PM
I completely disagree about the need for there to be co-ed sports teams.
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 04:05 PM
I completely disagree about the need for there to be co...
Bullshit. We need coed teams-great chance to cop a feel
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 04:08 PM
oh cool more slut-shaming from some random internet pru...
there's a difference between being a prude and respecting yourself and other people.
there's a huge difference between having sex within a meaningful relationship and finding someone new each weekend to wrap your legs around. (or to ''get it in with'', for you gentlemen)
i don't equate sexual liberation with promiscuity, whether you're male, female, straight, lesbian, or somewhere in between.
Posted by anonymous girl 12/15/2009 05:00 PM
"Statement:
It’s OKAY…
… that female athletic teams aren’t taken seriously in the BiCo.
Prompt:
When was the last time YOU attended/showed support for a female athletic team?"
Response:
Freshman year, because I was young and naive.
Seriously, one of the biggest reasons why people I know don't go to a lot of women's sports events is because the majority of our women's teams suck. I can only think of three that don't suck out of the eleven that exist). If we had better players who could win more than three games in a season, I'd have more motivation to go.
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 05:06 PM
“It’s Okay...” Campaign: Findin...
i have nothing against promiscuous women...
the only grudge(?) i have will be that not enough of them exist at bi-co :)
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 05:15 PM
“It’s Okay...” Campaign: Findin...
It’s OKAY…
…for strangers to smack my ass.
i'd just like to say, as a girl, that if a stranger smacked my ass i would smack them right back, but in the face. when it comes to shit like that, quaker values my ass (ha, pun).
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 06:05 PM
there's a difference between being a prude and respect...
I don't think it's respectful of other people to judge them for how many people they have (protected) sex with.
"Slut-shaming" describes exactly what you are doing, going out of your way to express distaste for "finding someone new each weekend to wrap your legs around." Knock it off.
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 06:19 PM
I don't think it's respectful of other people to judg...
hey i love girls that are open minded to sex
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 06:43 PM
there's a difference between being a prude and respect...
...and what the hell is wrong with wrapping your legs around someone new every week. As long as it's consensual, and both parties use protection, why should it be anyone's concern except the two involved parties. There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself on the weekend. If that's not your MO, that's fine, but it's also fine if that's the way someone wants to conduct themselves.
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 06:50 PM
...and what the hell is wrong with wrapping your legs a...
your loose morals disgust me. have you no dignity nor shame? i'm sure your mother would be thrilled to know she raised a whore. congratulations.
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 06:51 PM
your loose morals disgust me. have you no dignity nor s...
sorry guy you oversold it. Yawwwwwn
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 06:52 PM
I don't really "get" trolling. Wow you said something totally awful and people acted like you believed it. Whoooooaaaaaaaaaa
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 07:34 PM
...and what the hell is wrong with wrapping your legs a...
i love you for saying this !!
we need more girls like you ( for real )
Posted by anonymous 12/15/2009 08:01 PM
"...sexism is the only form of oppression in which the oppressed are expected to love their oppressor (Bell Hooks, 1989). This feature of sexism both masks and normalizes gender inequality, especially for straight women" (Making Sexism Visible).
Posted by anonymous guy '12 12/16/2009 10:04 PM
It's All Right ...
... that the Haverford College volleyball team is and always will be a female-dominated sport.
It's Totally Cool ...
... that the Haverford College field hockey team is and always will be a female-dominated sport.
Why do YOU think that Haverford College lacks any co-educational varsity teams?
Posted by anonymous 12/16/2009 10:08 PM
"...sexism is the only form of oppression in which the...
i think that article is by bell hooks, not Bell Hooks
______________________________________________________________________________
Email I received from a current Haverford student:
from
******** <*******@haverford.edu>
to
cmorais@haverford.edu
date
Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 6:01 PM
subject
"It's OKAY..." campaign
signed-by
gmail.com
Hi Cristina,
I don't think that we have ever met (my name's *******, i'm a ******, ***** major etc. etc. doesn't really matter...), but I have been reading about your "It's OKAY..." campaign on the go boards and I'm really interested in how you came up with this project. I know that you you said that you only did it for you class on gender studies but I was wondering you were planning on taking it any further? if not then I guess you can just ignore the rest of the email, but since I came back from being abroad in ****** I've been trying to think of ways of improving awareness of gender inequality on campus other than ranting to my friends about it :). I think that living in a foreign country which is so much more sexist than ours, has made me more aware of sexist things that happen in my own home, namely Haverford. I don't know..I'm not that creative of a person so i haven't really been doing that much since coming back, but it seems like you really might be so if you were planning on anything concrete for the future I'd sure like to help. Anyway let me know.
Thanks,
******
Comments
The reason for this double [20]
The reason for this double standard is very simple. Men have a much higher lidido than women. If you don't believe me, check this out:
http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare
Women tend to be more romantic in terms of sex. Me and my boyfriend HS seniors. Before we dated, he was very promiscuous, and not just with girls. I'm saving myself for marriage.
So, to sum it up, most men actually want to have lots of sex. Most women do not. The reason for this double standard is the same reason why people would understand a huge Seinfeld fan buying $100 of Seinfeld memorabilia but not for a moderate fan: The bigger fan actually wants it.