Rain..

CMJ's picture

Let's talk about rain. Rain is a beautiful thing. Water gets everywhere. I miss rain like rain we had today. I spend so much time in my head trying to equate this place, Bryn Mawr PA, to my "home" in Portland OR. It's frustrating because the two places really aren't that alike, and a big part of this is rain. But when it does rain, hail to the rain gods because this place makes my brain come alive with notions of home. The reason I put HOME in parentheses the first time I used it is because "home" is probably relative, as in relation to your close relatives (this might make no sense but I saw a pun and I used it). My family is not in Bryn Mawr, does that mean I'me not at home? Or should I take a more individual-centric world view and decree that wherever I'm living is my "home?" Thinking about these things, and looking at the rain today took me away from Goodheart, away from Bryn Mawr, and I had strong, possibly physical aches that I would probably chalk up to homesickness. I don't always like to admit that to myself (sometimes I operate under this fantasy that I am the strongest and most flexible human being in the world, therefore, can never be homesick) but it is undeniably true. I spoke these words out loud at my sit, but I will write them to the world now, putting my seal of authenticity on the statement. I AM HOMESICK. Does saying it outloud and writing it here validate this feeling and make it more real? I don't want it to.. I don't want to be homesick at all. 

This is my awesome introspective and whiny post, congratulations for getting to the last sentence alive!

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CMJ's picture

thanks sarah! this helps :)

thanks sarah! this helps :)

Sarah Cunningham's picture

profound

I actually find your questions about the meaning of home very profound, Claire. In my life I have lived in five different countries, eight different cities or villages, and I can now be homesick for any of them at different times! I even have two different passports... In the end (well, it's not the end yet!) I found I did not want to be on the other side of the ocean from my blood kin. But I also love and miss England, and Ireland, and France, and the Netherlands... And would not want to have missed living in any of them. The homesickness, like missing someone you love, is better than not loving anywhere enough to miss it-- and I think it's also better than never experiencing anywhere else but home! Just think what it will be like, maybe, when you go home, and find you are homesick for Bryn Mawr!

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